Ashes and Portents by foxgamer01 (critique requested)

The anthro jackal, dressed in a long sleeve black shirt with a green vest and khaki pants, was sniffing his fresh coffee when his cell phone started playing Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. He rather hated that song, but used it as a ringtone for when his more annoying ‘friends’ called him. He pulled out his cell while looking around the restaurant.

No one around, he thought. Good.

He looked at the incoming number and sighed, realizing who it was.

“Hello Alex.”

“Hello Jack!” an excited voice replied.

The jackal responded with a cold voice. “Alex. Don’t call me Jack. You can call me Aces or my real name, Ash. Hell, you can call me TJ. Just don’t. Call. Me. Jack.”

“Eh, you’ll get used to it,” Alex disparaged.

Ash shook his head, imagining himself choking that coyote to death.

“Anyways, I’m just calling to let you know I’ve finished it,” Alex continued.

“Oh,” Ash said, calming down. “You mean the Del Dragón Nulificador?”

“Yeah!” Alex cheerfully replied. “Now we’ll be able to hold you down when you lose control of yourself and turn into your jackal/dragon hybrid form again.”

“OK, though I did tell you that it’s unnecessary. After all, we know the cause of my craziness and the cure.”

“Nevertheless, I would like to be sure in case Daren isn’t around. I should test it out on you before I call it a day.”

“Eh, no thanks,” Ash replied, drinking his bitter coffee. “I’m not in the mood to be in that form, sane or insane. Besides, you should work on Project Oncoming Storm and make sure it’s ready for the power transfer.”

“Oh, you’re right! Thanks, Jack!” Alex said before hanging up.

Ash exhaled slowly, then puts his cell phone away. He sated at his hands, digitigrades feet, and his tail, reminders that he had a dragonish heritage from his mother’s side of his family.

Ash sighed and picked up his coffee as the restaurant door opened, observing over his cup.

The creature that walked in looked like an anthro lizard, with light blue scales and tall white hair shaped in a Mohawk. He had a longsword on his back, but what really caught the eye was his necklace. It was some sort of pendant shaped like a star. Ash doesn’t know why it attracted him. It just seemed to . . . hold something powerful.

The lizard noticed Ash looking at him and walked over to the jackal. The lizard’s expression was angry, even explosive, but Ash remained calm.

“Hello. Haven’t seen anyone like you around here,” Ash said, leaning back. “Came from a far place?”

“Yes,” the lizard coldly replied, causing Ash to raised an eyebrow. “The name’s Victor.”

“Lizard, eh?” Ash remarked.

“Dragon,” Victor corrected bluntly, sitting on the chair across from Ash.

“I see,” Ash said. “So tell me, what brings you to this town?”

“I came to find this person,” Victor explained, pulling out a drawing. “Have you seen him?”

Ash’s expression didn’t changed, but his mind was in complete shock.

That’s Daren!

“Can’t seem to place that guy,” Ash responded, drinking more of his coffee. “Though may I ask why you want him?”

“I don’t really know,” Victor confessed. “That guy sent me to find him.”

Ash raised an eyebrow.

Victor continued, “As for why he wanted him, no clue. You can barely get anything from that bastard. Really, I think he sees everything as a puzzle to complete, even if he has to hammer it down for his ‘art’.”

Ash raised another eyebrow, noting that Victor didn’t name whoever he’s talking about.

Why would he want Daren? What could be so important that he wouldn’t let Victor know why?

“If you want my opinion on him,” Victor remarked, tapping his claws, “I hate his guts. However, even when I’m using all of my power,” Victor stared at his necklace, “I can’t get close to him. He also has words that’ll put anyone in the corner until they agree with him.”

Ash nodded before looking up. “Can’t say I blame you, given what you said.”

But Ash’s resolved is firm: He won’t let this stranger get close to his friend, his brother.

Ash pondered, looking at Victor more closely. He then mentally shook his head.

No, I can’t overpower you. It’s pretty clear that we’ll only fight to a standstill. Most likely, it’ll just make lots of noise that Daren will hear, waltz in, and victor will have who he wants. So how?

Victor nodded before looking at the time. “Can’t stay here long.”

“Eh?” Ash remarked, twitching his ears. “Care to explain?”

“The bastard refused to say how long till he had to pull me back,” Victor explained, rubbing his head. “Instead, he gave me the means to return immediately,” he pulled out what looks like a writer’s quill briefly before putting it away, “when I find this guy. If I don’t send them a signal, it’ll teleport me out of this place.”

Ash nodded, realizing what he had to do. However, he noted, what little people’s skills he had tend to backfired.

Ash got up, trying to form some sort of plan, even getting Victor the biggest meal in the restaurant, as he lied, “Well, I hope you’ll find him. Though I’ll—”

“Hey Ash!” A new voice cried out as the door rang, causing Ash to cringe.

The two anthros stared at where the voice was coming from and saw some sort of feral creature. It looked like an orange fox, though it had three tails and several red, light blue, and yellow moon shape markings all over its body.

“Did that thing just talk?” Victor demanded, utterly confused.

“Yes. Victor, meet Chris. Chris, meet Victor,” Ash responded, though he was mentally sweating. In his mind, Ash begged Victor to not ask Chris about Daren.

“Say, Chris, if that’s your name, have you seen this guy?: Victor asked, pulling out that drawing.

Ash quietly swore to himself.

“Yes, I do know. That’s Daren Crevan. I was about to ask Ash on where he was,” Chris innocently answered.

Ash was lifted up by the vest and slammed against the wall by the light blue dragon.

“You LIED to me when you said you didn’t know about him,” Victor roared. He pulled out his sword with his free hand and pointed it at Ash’s throat. “Now, you better give me a very good reason why this won’t be in your skull in the next minute.”

Chris stood there, horrified, as Ash replied surprisingly calmly, “Well, you didn’t give me a very good reason why I should say anything. You gave me no promises that Daren will be alright when you get him and send him to ‘Bastard’. Hell, given what you said, it’ll be pretty difficult to send him back after that bastard’s done with him. So why should I trust you and him with my dear friend?”

Victor noticeably calmed down and placed Ash down on his feet, though his sword still pointed at the jackal’s neck. “I’m here to do a job and I won’t leave until I complete it. Now take me to this Daren or else this sword will be in your head!”

Victor let go of Ash and sheathed his sword before crossing his arms. The waitress came out, looking concerned, through Ash waved her away. Ash then walked towards Chris with Victor following closely behind, the orange fox’s ears flattened back and trying to look smaller than he actually is. Ash bent down and scritches Chris’ ears.

“It’s OK. Can’t blame you, since you had no idea that this would happen,” Ash explained before getting up and walking away with Victor.

Ash drove his motorcycle out of Airun town, with Victor sitting right behind him, as Ash desperately tried to think of something.

*I could lead him to another place other than Central City, though Victor could get suspicious if it’s too far. I could have an unfortunate accident, though Victor looked like he could react accordingly. Grr. God damn you, you stupid dragon—

Wait. That’s it!*

So Ash led Victor to Central City’s Hotel, and through the basement rooms, the entrance to their headquarters, FOXWOOD.

“How deep is it!?” Victor demanded, looking down the staircase that seems to go on forever.

“A mile and a half,” Ash responded coldly. “I did tell the others to install an elevator when it was being made. Well, at least I managed to convince them to make a second entrance with an elevator, though it won’t be completed until next year.”

Victor sighed and shook his head before the two made their trek down the staircase. It took them quite a while until they reached the bottom, even when both of them were rushing. Victor rubbed his sore feet while Ash waited.

“I freaking hate stairs!” Victor remarked angrily before he slammed his feet to the ground. “OK. I’m ready. Now take me to him and no more funny stuff!”

“Yes,” Ash responded and walked toward the hallway with many doors with Victor walking aside him.

Soon enough, Ash stopped at one of the doors and opened it, gesturing Victor to walk in. He did, with Ash walking right behind him before Ash snuck away and walked towards a desk.

“This looks like some sort of laboratory.” Victor remarked, not noticing that Ash was picking up a device. “Where is he?”

“He isn’t here.” Ash activated the device.

A ring of energy surrounded Victor and quickly shrank until he was trapped. He tried to move, but couldn’t.

“W—what did you do?!” Victor demanded, gritting his teeth.

“Oh, this?” Ash remarked, looking at the device. “This is the Del Dragón Nulificador. It’s designed to effectively paralyze dragons. It was made for me, since, while I don’t look like it, I’m part dragon. three times I’ve been driven insane, since Athrú and dragon’s magic can barely work together. In fact, Daren’s the reason why I’ve regained my sanity on all three times.”

Victor grunted. “You—you bastard!”

Ash shrugged before leaning back against the wall. “Yes. But at least you didn’t get Daren.”

Victor sighed. “Well, you got me. I admit defeat.” The quill in his pocket started glowing. “And it seems it’s time for me to leave.”

“Well then, farewell Victor,” Ash said. “Perhaps, in other times and places, we could be friends.”

“Ha! You wish.”

“You do remind me of myself when I’m in my nastier moods. Still, maybe we’ll meet again.”

“And if we do, make sure to fight me.”

“I will.”

The glowing light surrounded Victor as he disappeared. Ash sighed and turned off the device. “Until we meet again.”

Ashes and Portents (critique requested)


7 February 2014 at 21:23:00 MST

Well, this is a story I've written last year. The reason why it took so long to post it here was because, well, I was too lazy to finalized the story with friend and fellow writer, The-Writing-Dragon. But now I did. Enjoy.

Victor belongs to The-Writing-Dragon
Chris belongs to Tails230
Everything else belongs to me.

Submission Information

Literary / Story