"Hello Weasyltonians, Pleased to meet you hope you guess my-

Screw it, no need to start our relationships on bland over done cliches. We are going to be friends. You and I are already friends! Didn't you know?

My face? I'm me, I can look like whatever I want. Yes I do look like him. Why do I look like him? Because it annoys him of course, why else?

That reminds me of a story, would you like to hear?

I saw a man standing outside of a gas station the other day. A homeless person walked up to this man and asked if he could spare any money. The man, with out question, gave this homeless person five dollars.

When the homeless person walked away, I asked the man "Why did you do that? Why did you give that homeless person your money."

He replied "Because it was the right thing to do."

"How do you know it was the right thing to do?" I queried.

"He looked like he needed the help."

"No that's the reason you came up with after I questioned you. Do you think you gave him the money because your a good person?"

"Yes." He said confidently "Yes, I am a good person."

"Is that why you hold the door open for people when you come out of the store, or why you slow down and let people change lanes in front of you on the highway?"

"Yes" He repeated "Because I'm a good person."

"But your not a good person David. Those things don't even enter as evidence, they were just automatic actions you made in response to the world around you. There was no thought on your part as to whether you were doing good or evil. You acted on instructions programed into you during childhood, those things don't make you a good person at all."

"I've done other things that were good, Important things that-"

"Merely automatic reactions, your a robot. You can't place a moral value on things that you acted on without thinking. It's like saying the clock was good because the minute hand ticks once every sixty seconds. You are no better than any other drone that roams the planet, except worse because they aren't kidding themselves."

Later I ran into the almighty who asked me "Lucy, my creations have the free will to change, the automatic acts of kindness have a moral value because he doesn't opt to change his ways when the act show no evidence of a return. They have value because he favors charitable acts to acts of malevolence. I wonder why you failed to mention that?"

"I wonder." I replied with a sneer "I just wonder."