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My Talking Angela (Creepypasta) by DevilishlyHandsome49 (critique requested)

My Talking Angela (Creepypasta) (critique requested)

DevilishlyHandsome49

This is my first go at a creepypasta. Please critique, as I had fun writing this and would like to know if there's anything I'd need to improve on if I continue writing in this genre :)

Submission Information

Views:
10387
Comments:
9
Favorites:
1
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Story

Comments

  • Link

    I used to work in a toy store, and they had interactive stuffed animals of Angela and Tom. I always found them creepy for some reason...

    • Link

      Oh yeah, I think I heard of them. They hook up to another app on your phone? I find them creepy too with their lifeless eyes.

  • Link

    This is very nicely and I liked how the concept was used was in this
    One issue I found was the mentioning of creepypastas, but that may be me linking that to not-so-good stories with over powered characters
    The pacing could be a little better, it went to nice little app to death and darkness. Those two are really the only issues I saw.
    Chances are I will be looking into your other stories since Planet Nakti seems interesting

    • Link

      I was trying to go for a more meta approach towards creepypastas but I can see where it could be jarring. Pacing will have to be another thing I'm aware of for my future stories. I sometimes find myself rushing into things a bit too quickly than I'd like to.

      And I'm looking forward to what you think of the Planet Nakti stories as well :3 thanks for the critique

      • Link

        Your welcome
        I've been there myself when it comes to drawing. I have a habit of speeding through some things when I'm tired or sick.

  • Link

    Where is the URL on the youtube for the video what you recorded from that moment when Angela died?