THIS GUY. Ohmigod. Husband and I were up waaaaay late laughing and planning this guy.

Hold on to your butts, yo.

Meet Crazy Eyes ‘Dirty’ Sanchez. He is the drummer for the band [As yet to be named because Fatchaos is lazy].
Some (true) facts about (the chameleon) Crazy Eyes-

• He is colorblind.
• He has color seizures (as in, he will space out and randomly flash different colors, the resting pattern being the one he has until either he seizes again or he attempts to change it.)
• Due to his random color seizures, the band must warn epileptic fans from attending shows, since Crazy Eyes' color flashes have triggered seizures in people in the past.
• He was adopted at a young age and raised by a loving family of toads. Resulting from his upbringing, Crazy Eyes communicates solely via croaks, chirps, trills and other amphibian noises.
• Crazy Eyes didn’t discover he was adopted until the age of 25.
• He only knows one word in English, which is ‘please’ but his heavy accent turns it into ‘plis.’ It’s the only word he ever uses. He understands English, Finnish and Swahili.
• He has a specific croak for each band member.
• He has a pet rat who is deaf. This rat is (supposedly) specially trained for hunting spiders. Crazy Eyes has no idea the rat is albino. He has no idea what that means.
• Crazy Eyes is terrified of spiders.
• Crazy Eyes is also terrified of the dark. He is almost always seen with flashlights, glow sticks, matches, Zippos and lanterns. Occasionally he carries canisters of kerosene with him.
• He earned the nickname ‘Dirty’ the day he joined the band, when he spontaneously sprouted a mustache. No one knows how. It’s the only hair on his body.
• The only time both of his eyes focus on one point is when Crazy Eyes is peeing.
• He has ‘dead pixel’ spots where the color no longer changes. These spots stay white, even during his color seizures. These spots result from being shot twice, stabbing his own hand (after hallucinating there was a spider) and from having his tail burned during a pyrotechnics fiasco. A fiasco caused by Crazy Eyes.
• The first time he was shot, it was by fellow bandmate Toni. All that is known about the incident is that Crazy Eyes allegedly deserved it, something even he agrees with.
• The second time he was shot was during a show in Sweden.
• Crazy Eyes is also one of the few people who can tolerate Purple Mercury, however if he drinks too much, he hallucinates.
• He has a ‘problem’ with licking himself in public.
• For some reason, Crazy Eyes is very popular with the ladies. Must be the mustache.
• He typically wears a bandolier of drum sticks during gigs.
• Sometimes, when he’s really drunk, he tries to eat the band’s keyboardist, Enigma.
  
• He has depth perception issues and frequently walks into walls, doors, people and moving traffic.

Ohhhhhman ohjeez, I love this guy. He's so funny. Expect more, either from me or FC. This guy just needs to be drawn more. CX