Fry Your Kelp
Adapted from “Cry For Help” (Rick Astley/Rob Fisher)

It don’t take much time
Confound it, it’s fine
But when she dines, I’m not so sure
It’s always the same
A skillet, a flame
And when it’s served, I feel to blame

Why won’t she say she’ll eat it?
I know it’s healthier than it seems

Why don’t I see her fryin’ kelp?
Why don’t I smell her fryin’ kelp?
Why don’t I hear her fryin’ kelp?

I wandered around
The market downtown
Trying to find seaweed on sale
I left this one place
With nary a trace
Of all the dough I had to waste

Why must we bake or boil?
Why must we never break down and fry?

All that I need is to fry my kelp
Somebody please let me fry my kelp
All I can do is fry my kelp

Don’t even think it’s strange
Fire up the range and fry your kelp

(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee
A tasty treat when you fry your kelp
Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee
A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)

Why must we bake or boil?
Why can’t we ever break down and fry?

All that I need is to fry my kelp
I will be there when you fry your kelp
Why don’t I hear her fryin’ kelp?

All that I need is to fry my kelp
Somebody please let me fry my kelp
All I can do is fry my kelp

All that I need is to fry my kelp
I will be there when you fry your kelp
Crispy and hard
Just fry your kelp

(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee
A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)
(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee
A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)
(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee)
It isn’t all that strange
(A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)
Come on and fire up your range
(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee)
Just give it a try and see
(A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)
The taste is gonna set you free
(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee)
All I need is to fry
(A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)
(Fry your kelp—I gar-on-tee
A tasty treat when you fry your kelp)