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Comfort in the Quiet - Prologue by 2m2h (critique requested)

Comfort in the Quiet - Prologue

He leaned back, resting himself against the wall. It was a cold, dark, cloudy day. A day he wasn't completely tired or even too busy. That was the part he enjoyed the most. Despite the fact that it was the perfect weather, he mostly enjoyed how free he felt.

"It's a really nice day today, don't you think, Lily?"

"Huh...? Oh yeah. Sure."

Lily wasn't one who had such an affinity for the cold has he did. She was bundled up with two sweaters and a scarf. Her brown hair was held down by a beanie.

"I don't understand why you like these kind of days so much, Chris. Aren't you cold?"

"Not really. It feels nice."

There was a long silence. The only sound was the slight buzzing of the light and the whistling of the air passing through the cracks between the doors and the boards.

"Hey, Lily...?"

"Hm?"

"Does it bother you when I call you Lily?"

Lily was just a name Chris called her. Liliana was the name she gave herself which she liked much more than her given name. Her given name isn't something she likes to mention because of the pain her parents put her through before. She despised that name just for the fact that they thought of it.

"It kind of did at first, but I'm used to it now. I've actually come to like it. Why?"

"Just wondering..."

The silence continued.

"It's really calm today. I mean, not that I'm complaining, but I guess I'm just used to having so much to do, that any down time is so boring."

Chris looked out the window he was next to for any signs of movement or activity. It was still quite calm because of the rain.

"I'm hungry, and there's no food here. I'm going to go out and find some. Wanna join?"

"Sure." Lily says as she puts on her gloves.

The two prepare themselves. Chris puts his rifle on his back and begins to pry the door open.

"Alright, got it. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be..."

The doors open and cold air rushes into the room from outside. They walk out to the middle of the area and everything around them is still.

"There's a cafeteria not to far from here. Let's check out what they have."

They get to the cafeteria only to find that the place is wrecked. Tables and chairs are spewed all across the floor. Though, it almost seems that they were placed strategically.

"Hmmm..." Chris looks around a bit puzzled. "Well, anyways, the kitchen is over this way."

What they find in the kitchen is only a few scraps and a bunch of empty cans. It almost seems that this place was used not too long ago.

"Chris, I don't know about this..."

"Shh... Hold on..."

Chris steps around very lightly, listening for anything else who might be there with them. He begins to whisper.

"Remember, Lily, they're completely mute. Watch for anything out of the ordinary."

After a few minutes of sneaking around the kitchen and cafeteria, Chris comes across a tarp that seems to be covering a hole made in the ground. It's located directly in the center of the mess of tables and chairs. He lifts the corner of the tarp, exposing some of the hole.

"Oh shit-"

He leaps back grabbing for his rifle, but they're already dead. He sighs.

"Fuckin Sleepers..."

Sleepers are humans infected with a virus that destroys their ability to make sound. They cannot make noise out of their mouths at all due to them being mute and their disintegrated tongues. The infection spreads through any natural bodily fluid that gets into open wounds or orifices such as the mouth, making being close to a Sleeper very dangerous. Once infected, no apparent symptoms of infection are noticeable for at least two days. The infected's body no longer recognizes their skin as a vital organ of their body, therefore causing it to rot and become gray. The virus also creates intense, uncontrollable homicidal and cannibalistic tendencies. Sleepers are still in a conscious state, but are controlled by the virus' will and are forced to kill and eat. Other regular bodily functions still exist and they can still operate tools or machines. They've also been known to set up traps to capture the uninfected or animals for food or to create allies.

"Goddam... I will never get used to these fucking things... Oh yeah. I found some rounds for you."

Chris returns his rifle to his back and passes a magazine with seven .45 caliber rounds to Lily.

"I also found some unopened cans of food over there when-"

The sound of falling cans and trash being kicked around comes from the kitchen. Chris pulls his Mosin Nagant off his back and Lily readies her Colt as they slowly approach the counter.

Chris stumbles over one of the many chairs. Just then, a figure takes this as a chance to attack. A Sleeper. It lunges out from behind the counter and runs towards the two.

"Fucking hell!"

Chris quickly grabs his gun to shoot it.

"Shit! Lily, get her! Fucking gun is jammed!"

Lily aims to shoot the Sleeper. One shot in the shoulder, another in the cheek. It collapses to the ground just a few inches from Chris holding it's face. Lily approaches the infected on the floor and releases another bullet into the side of it's head.

"Dammit, I really hate this old piece of shit rifle. Fucking thing's still jammed."

Chris sighs as he gets back up on his feet.

"Alright let's get those cans and get out of here."

Lily picks up three cans of food and puts them in her messenger bag. Chris is still trying to remove the jam in his gun.

"Ready, Chris?"

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go."

They get to the door and look out the little rectangle window. They see what looks like a group of seven or eight Sleepers quickly approaching the building.

"Chris, I only have 4 more shots left..."

"Shit... and my gun's still messed up... Alright. We'll run past them. Back to the place where we were before, okay? Don't shoot unless you absolutely have to. We don't need anymore attention."

"Got it."

They burst out and hit a few of them with the doors. They run to the right, barely missing the rest. There's three more Sleepers approaching in the direction they're going.

"Shit! How many did we attract?"

Evading the other three, they're already halfway back to their hideout. Upon reaching the shelter, they slam the doors closed behind them and reinforce the doors with a desk and chairs. The Sleepers are banging at the door and trying to turn the doorknob.

"Quick, grab the hammer! I need to get these boards back up!"

Lily hands the hammer to Chris. He frantically hammers the nails into the doorways, while Lily shoves more chairs in front of the doors.

They both back up and sit against the wall furthest from the doors clutching their guns. They prepare for the worst.

After about 20 minutes of constant banging on the doors, it begins to slow down.

"Emily."

"Huh...?"

"A while back, when we first met, you asked me what my name was. I told you it was Liliana. My real name is Emily. I... I don't like that name though... "

She puts her gun down and takes off her beanie.

"It's just... my parents... They were the worst. And I'm not just saying that to be dramatic. They actually were. There was no support for anything I did... My father would get mad at my mom and take his anger out on me. Sometimes he would knock me over and kick me, whip me, and even choke me. And my mom... always talked down to me. Nothing I ever did was good enough for her. I would try to make them notice me, but ask they did was use me as a tool to take their anger out on. "

The banging continued.

"I used to draw. I wanted to be a world renowned artist. Like Picasso or Vincent van Gogh... One day, I was drawing at the kitchen table, and my mother took my paper and ripped it up right in front of me. She told me my art is stupid and that I'd never amount to anything."

Chris was sat right next to Lily. He put his arms around her and held her tight.

"I just..."

She sighed.

The banging slowed to a halt.

Comfort in the Quiet - Prologue (critique requested)

2m2h

First off, I'd like to say:
I am in no way a writer. I cannot use my words efficiently. So, please, excuse me for having choppy or awkward sentences and such.

This is just something I felt like doing out of random while walking to class. It's more of an experiment than anything. It's not furry related, as in there are no anthros or feral characters. (maybe I'll put in a pet dog though.) I had a bit of help with it from my step sister, who is a writer and does not have an account here.

Please give me your opinion, whatever it may consist of.

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