Starting over...

Well, many of you have been wondering what has become of me since I started my
road trip.
I have made it back home to Seattle, and have already started a decent job.

(Yay for $15/hour minimum wage)

I did finally get myself into a position where I can focus on operational
stuff, and not having to deal so much with customer service, which is a plus for
me since I have felt the desire to do something like that.

I have been hurt by the mistakes, and the situations of my past.
But I hold no grudges, and I have no qualms.
For me, this is a fresh start, and I have learned much from my experiences.
For that, I am grateful and honored to have had them.

Yes, it is true that I have taken a last name from a past life that came to my recent memory.
It is in honor of this new begining.

I still care tons about Mixy, but his life will be in his own hands.
There really is not much more I can do for him to help him any, except to be there for him if he needs me.
I understand the truth behind what happened, and how we both ended up hurting each other in the end.
We took each other for granted, but it was the simple pleasure of knowing we were there that was really enough for us.
I can only hope that he begins to learn the truth, and to do something to make his own life better for him.

I am here for him if he wishes, and I will support any decisions he makes for himself.

While I never wanted to give up on him, it appears we have fallen apart, at least at the time being...

Sadly, this means I am lonely, and wishing someone could just love me, and be there for more.
I wish I had someone to cuddle, and to be close with...

But at the same time, after being burned twice, I must admit I am hesitant to commit.

I am scared of being hurt like this again.
I gave them my heart... and they crushed it.
I don't want to hurt like that again.

I never wanted to hurt him, and would never want to repeat my own mistakes.
I fear doing something like that again...

But I want someone in my life at the same time...
I am lonely and want to be loved...