It's official. I want to make a career of this.

I'm not abandoning fiction writing (not by a long shot) but I feel I'm best suited, like many writers, to support myself with another profession that also involves books, reading, and research. This will also enrich my fiction and keep my skills as a writer and researcher sharp even when I'm on hiatus between books, as I normally am.

I'm going to talk to my professor about what it would take to build a career doing exactly what I'm doing now, with this manuscript. The hunt for information and the thrill of finding unexpected discoveries is something I really feel at home with. The information is out there, and I seem to have a real knack for finding it.

The best part is, in this line of research there's no penalty for not finding the information if it's simply not there. If I pursue due diligence, I know I'll have done exactly what I'm supposed to do. With that pressure off, I can focus on digging up as much info as there is and making the most of my discoveries. This is what I've needed for so long in a job, something I never had in the sorts of jobs I've always worked; I need an environment that doesn't punish honest failure but still rewards honest work.

I'm not sure what postgrad study track would put me on this trajectory but I'm hoping my professor will fill me in on that. The only thing I'm really certain about is there will have to be Latin classes at some point. Luckily I already know some Latin because of my background in Spanish and French.

Taking this course may have been the single best decision of my entire BA program. I haven't felt this confident or happy in many long years and although I'm still dealing with a lot of problems, for once I can see a way out.