TL:DR : The condition of my health is certainly pertinent to my ability to get things done, to the success of my business, and to my relationship with you, my commissioners, and my fans, so I felt that this information would prove useful and insightful to those invested in my productivity and my person in general. I hope that this may help educate and inform, and I hope that you may understand that I may be a bit slow some days, but will continue to try to do my best. Thank you all so much for your support, and I hope you have a great day!

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Ugh.... have just gotten back out from under a pretty bad migraine that has been dogging me for the past two days (the first night being the worst - barely got even an hour's total worth of sleep until about 8am, and even then slept fitfully; took two separate doses of Excedrin, which is not something I normally do, along with anti-nausea meds), and so I'm slowly getting back up to speed on art.

Yesterday I took a day off and drew a picture that I'm actually surprisingly happy with, though it needs some proportional tweaks. I haven't drawn an anthropomorphic image of my draconic self in ages, but the night from Hell deserved recreation I suppose. I hope to get a semi-decent image of it soon, though motivation has been really really shot lately on most matters.

But aye - the image is pretty self-explanatory: an almost literal representation of how I was; half-sprawled as I lay my arm over my aching eye/temple, an eyemask on, torso rotated in a way to help alleviate my nausea as best I can, while trying to be comfortable enough to incite sleep. Episodes of Game Theory are on auto-play on my laptop in case I can't sleep and need moderate entertainment in the background (which proved to be a great time-killer). Medications line my shelf at the head of my bed; a box of Triscuits (set up to block the alarm clock's green glare, along with the crackers' nutritive properties should I be able to stomach them), and a water bottle. A melted ice pack, the towel it was wrapped in, and a warm, now useless, bean-filled cold pack lay strewn about me, or tucked under the shelf at the head of the bed.

Sweetest of all, our new cat Sylvy, curled up against my lower back. She was with me the entire night, only leaving to do her own business, but always riotously returning with a warm trill. At one point she was even kneading the small of my naked back, which I found incredibly touching, though painful (the pain from her claws did prove a good distraction from the ache in my head, though, which could be said to be a benefit in its own right). She also has a compulsion to lick my hands, or even my ears and face, and those moments were comforting distractions as well. She had nowhere else that she wanted to be, and I loved her for it.

So, while I prep this drawing, I thought that this description would help out somewhat to paint a picture of what a bad migraine night is like for me (though thankfully I usually sleep through them in most cases).

Yesterday, I was still in some mild pain, but enough to be moderately productive. Today, there is still a tiny ache behind my right eye, but is easily tolerated to a point. My mind is foggy, and it's hard to think functionally about anything more than my usual routine, so dealing with appointments (or other people in general) is less easy than it usually is ('easy' being a more generous term than I probably want to admit - dealing with people and correspondence is often tough for me, requiring a lot of effort). My mind is somewhat exhausted, and it just won't do some things that I ask it to.

This is how I usually am after a migraine, in the 'postdrome', but I often wonder if it's indicative of more than just the downward slope of an episodic migraine. I am cognitively exhausted, and socially exhausted, pretty much as often as I know - it is a semi-rare instance when I am lucid, on point, and actively engaged, when I don't feel tired trying to push my way through a reasoned response. I converse reluctantly most of the time, because it takes mental effort that drains me to cobble together pertinent counterpoints and to be legitatemtely engaged, both intellectually and emotionally. It's why I'm so sparse most of the time, especially for those who know me on Skype. I'm either always invisible, or on Do Not Disturb when enough people have found me out.

This mental exhaustion has either begun to culminate and become more frequent in recent years, or I'm just noticing it more, but it certainly makes me wonder if this 'fog' is from my consistent state of migraine - even though I feel fine physically, I'm not feeling fine mentally. I get migraines about once or twice a week on average, so I wonder if the way my brain functions is from the more 'silent' aspects of migraine, a 'hangover' that just won't fully quit, or comes and goes like waves, but never fully dissipates, the same way the water on the ocean shore never is truly absent. Can't say for sure, but this should be something I should discuss with my neurologist. In my paperwork she has listed me as having 'intractable migraine, with status migrainosus'. I've finally found out what that supposedly means - for most other people it means that there is never a reprieve from the migraine symptoms, pain or no, though they may be reduced by varying degrees at times. Not even the normal medications will help fully thwart the migraine (which is true for my most recently bad ones). For most people it's a constant state of pain, but not for me, not as far as I know. I've a mind to bring that up with my neurologist, because I'm not fully sure if her diagnosis is accurate. I never told her that I'm in constant pain, and I've usually thought that my symptoms fully dissipate after the second day, and I'm back to normal after that until the next migraine. Maybe that really isn't the case, and I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't.

Also, I wanted to give a heads up - I'll be starting a new preventative tonight or tomorrow (depending on how brave I am), an antidepressant called Paxil. I also have been remiss on taking an antianxiety that made me incredibly sleepy and almost completely incapacitated mentally during the day, and should get back to taking it again. I certainly don't miss that zombie-like state, but fear that I might not be helping myself out as much as I could be by taking it and knowing for sure that it won't help my migraines. I'm currently only on a calcium-channel blocker, and I feel no bad side effects from it at all, so I'm reluctant to start that trial and error process again with these new meds.

I REALLY anticipate not being nearly as productive as I could be when not taking the antianxiety, so I apologize in advance if I have trouble getting back to people or working on commissions as efficiently as I would normally be (which still isn't all that efficient, but hey). I will keep trying to the best of my ability though, and thank you for sticking it through with me. You all are so amazingly understanding, and I don't know where I would be without you all.

I wish you all the best, and please, if you have any questions or concerns for the status of your artwork, let me know, and we can discuss workarounds, refunds, or cancellations should you not be satisfied with the time frame of completion. Thank you all, and have a great day!