Just some rambling and somewhat disheartened thoughts from after a day in the United States capital. Feel free to skip.

Well, been touring D.C. as part of a family vacation, and I have to admit to being more than a little conflicted. While I do love the things that America stands for, some days it's hard to convince myself that they still stand for those values.

Freedom. Everywhere I go, I'm given a long list of things I am not to do. In some cases, the reasons are just and valid. In many others, the reasoning is far more stretched, or fuzzy. In addition, threats of punishment are quick to follow the list of rules. It's hard to feel free when I have to keep taking my belt off every time I go into a building. Being watched the whole time by large numbers of security officers also makes one feel more like they are the possible threat, rather than the person being protected.

Equality. In addition to the old reminders of how unequal the United States has been, such as historical notes on the construction of Federal buildings or monuments with slave labor or slave provided materials, there's also the fact that almost all the buildings have twice as many bathrooms as they seem to need, due to segregation. But even now, things seem to slip. Every position of authority or power I see is filled by a white person, while the folks doing all the small things to keep stuff running all seem to be immigrants or black folks. It feels almost like a non-official segregation...

Compromise. The talks about the history of the Capitol building all repeatedly hammered home the idea that Congress is a place to have logical meetings to hammer out what the best course of action is, for give and take to benefit the nation. Today, the country's politics seem even more fractured than ever before, with even more vitriol and hatred every day. Nothing is debated and moved forward anymore, all that happens is chest beating and blame tossing. It's disheartening.

Overall, I should like to believe in the goodness of the United States, and in the good we've done. But this trip has highlighted that while I love my country's values, I find myself increasingly uncertain that they have much meaning anymore. I can only hope that the long arc of history will bend back to clear vision for our nation.

Or maybe I'm just pessimistic because I didn't get enough sleep. Either way, if you're still here this far, thank you for coming along with me.