Rated Moderate 13+ because kids don't curse on Xbox Live...

 

Too Long; Didn't Read

Often, my father opts to distance my nephew from my video games, because...

...if a video game isn't~

 

"Innocent".

 

...then a 5-year-old 'shouldn't' play it...

...because, y'know, it isn't already enough for a kid to grow up in a world where they aren't even taught self-defense in favor of being shielded from consequences via "anti-bullying" measures because in life, you'll never, ever need to throw a punch, ever ( you heard it here first, folks! ), but you have to go and make sure that "Unwilling Poster Boy #9,326,487,501" is so far out of the "Think For Your Fucking Self" loop that he can't even play a delightfully overdone game like "Dissidia 012 [duodecim] Final Fantasy", because...

 

...the characters HIT each other! (Y'know, the same reason Disney pussied out to where Dissidia couldn't be based on Kingdom Hearts like it originally was, and instead revolved around Final Fantasy!).

 

Yes, because they hit each other! And probably because Kefka Palazzo and FF3's "Cloud of Darkness" are Satan, or some other conservative bullshit... =D

So here I am - a person who had the privilege of enjoying over 200 video games BEFORE there was an ESRB ratings system - and my 5-year-old nephew can't even be permitted to pick up a PSP and derp around as Vaan from Final Fantasy 12, a game he'll never care about in 30 years yet has access to because of "horrible people" like me who suppose that since the kid will never even be able to get a knee scrape from a cement sidewalk without 20,000 adults immediately "running to his rescue" then he should at least be allowed to fuck around with a bunch of "colorful polygons" before he becomes 7 years old and starts pondering what "The Meaning of Life" is. God fucking dammit...

No, I wouldn't let him play a God of War game or a Mortal Kombat game. I figure I'm 'corrupting' him enough by letting him fool around with Sorceress Ultimecia in Dissidia 012 spamming her "Hell's Judgment" move...

 

...which passes wicked judgment on people who are too lazy to dodge it with R+X!!! D8 </333

 

Yeah so, assuming gender roles have any "inherent meaning" (lmfao), my nephew can never be a "man" for not even being allowed to be a "nerd"... =|

'MURRICA!