the recent avatar I've posted on this website...that took me a long while to do XD;...so do i plan on making more of those colored pictures you ask? well i'll try XD...granted at times drawing on a tablet feels weird and i prefer paper over the digital tablet i have currently...i've been trying to decide on exploring different mediums somehow...i do not have enough usable cash these days to go full out...nevertheless from exploring traditional methods from markers to painting in general or trying to see if getting a upgrade in my tablet helps (whenever or not to move up to intuos or the cheapest cintq i can find)...not to mention if i go traditional i'll need to figure out how to use the medium and find a way to scan this all...

nevertheless there's many thing's i'd like to do from making web videos with a DSLR camera that works...figure out how those work XD;...i have gotten media experence with adobe media suite after effects, premiere before...and some autodesk experience as well...making games or at least getting started...because i've been wanting to go to college for this thing for a long while, and at the point where i possibly can...

and yet deciding on going to college...the biggest issue for me is just stressing out about how we're going to pay for it all

my parent's credit from what i herd was garbage from there college years...not to mention my mother has 2 jobs and my father constantly struggles with bill after bill...not to say that we're going to end up on the streets anytime soon...but it's been at least been poking in the back of mine mind...just figuring out it's going to work out and eventually paying for it and hopefully helping them out when they need it @___@...

college is one big stressor...another one would be the fact that i've just felt lonely...like really loney. from talking to people sometimes that i feel disconnected from to the amount of people to be around locally...which is usually none...if anything i'd feel like i'd be talking and the person will most likely talk to another person and ignore me outright for a while...i struggle with talking/socializing trying to find things to talk about...if anything i need to start persuing this career or around this career to move on in life other then people talking about things i can't relate to "how to find weed" "person a did something to person b that i don't know off" etc...not to mention i've don't have a car to at least go out exploring places where i can better fit in/connect to more other then being online...and even then that can be stressful as i'm talking to pictures and words on a screen...maybe i am become more needy on the likes of skype or something...

am i being selfish? B:...because i'm already lucky enough to be where i am now compared to other people...yes...but...idk...i just these days don't have the courage to ask for help...whenever it's by medical means or by venting...should i vent more often? or am i causing unnecessary drama on a site that's just for art? and that i should keep all of this to myself...suck it up...and move on...or just disappear completely?...

sighs

and i do appreciate the recent response I've been getting lately on this site and some others...so thank you guys for taking a interest in my work, it may not be much...it may not be the greatest, or in the greatest picture quality possible...but i try XD;...if anything i may not get time to complete pictures constantly for you guys...i do however have a archive of sketches that i've haven't uploaded here yet...so i'll *try*to upload a sketch a day...catching up what i have in dropbox a day...and from there hopefully i could at least sketch something out weekly if not daily...(and try to catch up on unfinished buisness)

again thank you watchers...and to those i watch that inspire me...i can't really imagine a world without art really B:...without music...without expression...i wish i could give you all one big hug but atlas someone hasn't invited a way of doing that yet B:...or could it be programmed? B:...idk but nevertheless

i'll continue to stride towards my artistic path...and hope to make you guys proud