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Sort of like planned? by OddOly
Just wanted to update journal since the previous one isn't very relevant right now. Everything is... well, not completely okay but not very bad either? I got a book printed, it looks okay, I don't have any urgent deadlines right now, I didn't completely botcher anything recently.
My biggest bummer right now is that I looked at amount of comic page I drew in the past six months and it's about a page per month which is way too slow. But I can't figure out how to structure time better since I have to earn money and I'm not a total robot yet to stop chatting with friends or watching shows or reading - I don't do that too much anyway.
I'm hoping I'll just inexplicably start working more efficiently (it has happened before) because otherwise I'm not sure how to fix this.
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Thank you! Yeah, that's a good idea, I'll do that. I do know that I spend too much time looking up best Lego prices online but I got sort of addicted to Lego after getting some Lego Movie merchandise and now I want to build up a sort of big action/police set and it takes a while familiarising myself with best deals since I don't have extra money to just buy stuff in the first place I stumble on. Lego is a guilty pleasure of sorts - I kept thinking about what you said about your childhood, living with one suitcase, and I though I really should buy less books and other stuff but eh, life is short and messy enough without denying yourself harmless pleasures.
I draw everyday and have a few things in progress, just not as fast as I'd like.
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Geezus, hell must be freezing over. Multiple people are actually listening to me recently, hahaha.
I'm a little surprised that you remembered that. Funny thing is, my older brother always had a giant pile of books with him, so he made it work somehow. The suitcase happened more often during my teen years, but yeah it did happen sometimes as a child too. Especially one brutal stretch, buuuut that's not for public commentary. Anyhoo. Enjoy your harmless pleasures. You never know when you're going to get fucked up, to put it so crassly.
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I dunno, details stick with me - I rarely ask people about personal stuff but when they happen to tell me something I remember bits of it clearly, especially the bits different from my own experience (I moved only once and it was all about living with my mother instead of my grandparents so I didn't even have to pack up all my things at once, I could always visit). In a few years bits of stories work through my brain and end up in some character's backstory - I never y'know, expose anyone's personal memories or anything but I can't help grounding my stories in reality. We're all stories in the end, like the Doctor said. :]
Oh yeah, those times when there were no digital readers... I mostly use my kindle for trashy weird literature I don't want to physically own but it still makes even a one day trip easier.
Yeah, exactly, happened to me so many times - you think all is well and suddenly everything falls apart and then you think it's never going to be any kind of good but things somehow work out. None of us know the future, really, so most long-term plans seem pointless (I mean it's good to plan ahead, have some savings, get an education - I just mean you can't possibly prepare for some apocalypse).
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Hah, it'd be interesting to see if that ever manifests in your work. Hopefully I'm still around by then to see if that happens.
I really have no plan right now, for anything. Every day is a challenge, and each one is ultimately chalked up as a failure for one reason or another. I had a nice two day high from finishing an art piece, but what it shows me is how little I need to make me happy. Or, negatively put, how little I have to look forward to. I'm going to need to play "adult" very soon here and take responsibility for my life again, but longterm plans have always been moot to me. I've yet to ever see one come to fruition, anyway. It's why I don't really like friends planning stuff with me far in the future, I'll drag my heels and not do it or it'll just not happen in the first place. If someone sprung a big plan on me that started tonight or tomorrow? I'd be far more likely to buy into it.
Also, people do prepare for apocalypses, heh: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-20732770
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Chauncey's childhood was actually spent in a bunch of homes but it was more living with different relatives than actually travelling with his family. I'm sure sooner or later I'll come up with a character who spent their childhood travelling, it might be even someone already created but without much background details. :D
Aw man... I sort of know what you mean, I started living like that after a really tough year - make small plans like what you'll do tomorrow, make important decisions when it's time to make them but none of that "by the time I'm 25 I'll have a family of my own and a house" stuff because it's really not how life works. Not unless you're really lucky.
Try to not be too hard on yourself, especially when it comes to art? We are all our own worst critics. When it comes to me I also make big plans even in short-term - if I plan to do 4 pictures in a day I'll be lucky if I manage to get 3 pictured done. Dunno if you're like that too? You don't have to find excuses for not doing stuff but you also don't have to beat yourself up for being not as good as you hoped. There's always tomorrow. :)
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I'd be honored if I had any tiny influence over Cop Story, hah.
Pfft, 25 with a family and a house... those people are from another planet. I can't fathom 25 year olds with that much. I can't fathom 25 year old accomplished athletes, or doctors. Those seem like aliens to me, alien people and alien world. Though it does make me look at my life and go, "jesus effing hell, where did shit go wrong?" I'm only a year removed from uni and it already feels like it's all over. I can't force myself to draw, it has to be natural unfortunately. Otherwise it's like running into a brick wall over and over. I can practice music whenever, but that has lost its charm for the time being. I'll try not beat myself up about stuff, but I had a friend do that to me tonight out of the blue anyway. Caught me offguard. Been making me think.
I have no idea why I'm replying to comments at 5:30am when I should be passed out, but ahh well. /ramble
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Ah, yeah, it's sort of like that after uni. For a while I felt really blank and confused but now I think "adult" life makes much more sense than student life. I miss certain aspects of it sometimes but I wouldn't want to go back. I don't want to tell you something like "it will work out" because when people told me that it felt like a such empty promise but if you don't deliberately screw up your life all the time there is a big chance it will be okay at some point.
I also think that when we start getting more skilful at something there is a stage where it loses its magic and becomes routine. Keep at it and it will occasionally become magic again. :) Sometimes I draw something and it doesn't feel like much, just work or just doing something because it has to be done, and sometimes it's like yeaaah, this is the best feeling in the world.
And yup, sleep schedules... I keep trying to fix mine but I just sort of drift around the clock.
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but if you don't deliberately screw up your life all the time
I gotta stop doing this. Anyway, I'll keep up the good fight I suppose.
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Trust me, you don't sound like a person who does it! I can't be sure but we all feel like we do it sometimes and most people actually doing it all the time that I've met were convinced they were always right and everyone around was oh so unfair to them. You don't sound like that.
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Rory
I like the acceptance of the inevitable.
'grats on the book print. Stuff has a way of balancing out, so try not to worry about it too much. Take note of everything going on righ now; how you're feeling, how you're using your free time, your levels of motivation, etc. When you find yourself back in a period of efficiency, do the same thing. See what's different. It's a long-term solution, at least.