Amidst the storm by SpetsnazKaz

For those of you who have read my last journal, you should be able to tell how pissed I was, not too long ago. I still kind of am, mainly because the proverbial storm has not yet cleared, as I will get into a little bit more detail, using the "skirt method"; I'll try to keep it short, simple, and to the point.

The month of May is finally here...I don't know whether to feel happy or upset. I'm a little bit of both, actually. Yesterday, it rained, hard. Good way to set the mood, actually...

It's just that, sigh I rarely have time for myself anymore...it's been this way for a long time now. I've only got time anymore to eat, bathe, study, and sleep. And I find it quite astonishing that I found enough time in my day to write this journal. Because, normally, I would have fallen asleep right about now.
These tests...they just drain the life out of me. The fuckin' studying and shit...I just want it to all be over. And it's no surprise that I have the hardest test of them all on the very last week of college (week ending on May 15th). I just know I'm going to fail this one. It's ridiculously hard and nobody in my class understands what the fuck is going to be on this damn thing. Because I heard it was long and arduous. I am in for pure hell.

Moving on...

As for my art progress...I promised myself to finish up all these drawings I had, old and new, for the month of May. Like really good drawings too. In fact, I haven't even touched one of them in like, the past two weeks or so. Of course it's not of dire importance, studying probably is, but I see drawing as my solace. And having less and less time for that solace until it finally dissipates makes me feel pretty futile...

SPOILER ALERT: I want to post a special picture for May 9th, Soviet Victory Day, honoring the defeat of Nazi troops on the Russian front, ending in surrender on May of 1945. Hopefully I can muster enough energy, time, and patience to finish it on that one day. Because that would mean the world to me.

On a much lighter note, I made a new friend on FA, you know who you are, ;-). I'm just so proud that I found a friend who shares a lot of the same interests...it makes me feel really happy that I have someone who likes Russia as much as I do. I really appreciate the comments you leave behind on my art, as I love talking with you very much. You motivate me to keep coming back and keep drawing. Thank you for being a huge support to me and helping to improve my morale. <3

Amidst the storm

SpetsnazKaz

1 May 2014 at 22:30:02 MDT

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    Semester finals are probably the most stressful time of the whole college year and I hated them too. But to their benefit they do prepare you for career humps when it's really stressful at work. Fat lot of comfort that is when you feel like pulling your hair out though. Once that passes hopefully you'll have a chance to get a bit more "me" time for yourself I hope. It sounds like it's severely needed.

    In the meantime I wish you nothing but the best of luck.

    • Link

      Sadly, yes (and me being a college Junior doesn't help at all). I want to say that "career humps" are nothing like sitting in a classroom taking a 2+ hour-long test, but that may or may not be true. I don't know. But I have at least some workplace experience to know what it entails. And yes, I do feel like going bonkers insane sometimes. Because after May 15, then a HUGE weight will be lifted off my back. Over the summer, I will start making my comic book (adapted from an old story I wrote many years ago) and even finish up and make more concept art for it in the early stages of next [school] year. I want my "me" time really bad.

      I know not a lot of people would care about this kind of topic. Thank you for caring. What else can I write about? At least it's not an "I hate my parents because I didn't get the new iPhone" journal from spoiled brats that litter the mainframe of DA. Or one of those "Buy my paintings; prices starting at $300!" journals that spoil FA like television commercials spoil TV, at least for me. They all annoy me just about the same.

      Thanks for the luck, I so desperately need it. ;-)

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    Honestly it's not entirely like taking a 2+ hour test, but it depends on the profession. Sadly all of it tends to crop up more in the lower-end jobs and service jobs. I see the old anxiety working tables when about four of them come in at once and they stick them with me. I am both resentful and super nervous. You'll find the bonkers batshit insanity in desk jobs at times. Especially during evaluations and board meetings. It just all depends on perspective and what the workplace environments are like.

    And you're more than welcome for the luck and care. I just hope everything runs as smoothly as it can until the calm comes.