i hate people. i hate society. i hate civilization. we as a species are biting the hand that feeds us. we take and destroy from mother nature but we don't give back. she created us, evolved us to sentience, gives us food and oxygen, but all we do is destroy our home and ourselves. we are slowly killing the life on this planet, including ourselves. i hate it. i hate everything about our civilization. i hate politics. i hate industry. i hate the media. it's all toxic, disgusting garbage. we are no less savage than wolves or lions or any other animal that kills to survive. in fact, we are more savage because we destroy on a much grander scale than any animal. and it's not just for food. we destroy to produce technology to propagate our laziness and make us weaker. we are too proud for our own good. it's fucking sick. i hate it all.

yet...i feel conflicted. i am weak -- not just in physical strength, but also in my mind. i want to run away; leave this wretched, filthy thing called "civilization" and live a simple and peaceful life among mother nature. but i can't. i have desires and ambitions, but without society and civilization, i am unable to fulfill them. i hate the very thing that will bring me happiness. i do not know what to do. every day, i am tortured by this internal conflict between my beliefs and my desires. i just don't know. i don't understand.