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A Heads Up by Neme303
Ok, I'll be honest here.
Depression has taken control of my life.
The Move has come and gone but I haven't been taking it too well.
The place I used to live at was my home for 12 years, half of my life. And I feel it's ripped away from me. So it's taken me a long time and will continue to take time for me to get over it.
As is I feel very directionless right now. I want to go back to school, but I don't know what school to go to. When I told people I planned on going to the Art Institutes I was met with a lot of people, former students, researches, etc. saying not to go. They told me that AI doesn't take care about their students, over charges, and the curriculum was all over the place. One person told me after his first semester they charged him $11,000+ for tuition and all he was doing was the classes they gave him.
all in all, it was enough for me to reconsider and look for another school. unfortunately I haven't been able to find a school. that works for me.
on top of all that, the new place is within walking distance of the old place. and everytime i walk past it I'm filled with a great sadness and a feeling of emptiness.
like, my life is over
I've been fighting ever since the move but I feel like it's a loosing battle. And what's worse is it's destoying my desire to create anything.
this feeling hurts so much I'm now saving up what money I can get to leave Oklahoma. I'm tired of this place, nearly every memory in this place is a bad one.
but it all seriousness, i don't know what to do
I just don't know
I'll delete this journal later, I just had to vent.
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Seek help if you haven't already. Depression is a disease, and like many diseases there are treatments and even possibly cures. I know it seems hopeless now, but there's still time and opportunity to get help. One of my friends didn't know what he wanted to do with his life until he was 38 and now he's one of the most respected and well paid people in his field.
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SergeantBuck
Venting's okay, man.
I felt similar to how you feel when I quit tech school. They'd overwork their students in the name of "prepping us for the industry" and gave us mixed messages without much in the way of support. If you messed up so much as one assignment, it could easily mean failing a class and having to completely retake it, and they charged an exorbitant amount for tuition on top of no student housing and tutors that were available at the same time as classes. I still get nightmarish memories of sixteen-hour coding sessions and seventy-plus hours of homework per week when I pass through Redmond.
My pain isn't quite the same as yours, but I know depression. You'll find a way to overcome it :)