please follow your doctor's advice while looking for the right balance, we're going to be willing you all the luck in world! :3

If your anxiety continues to drag you down, you may want to consider asking your doctor for a referral to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Severe anxiety can be difficult to manage without therapy or medication. You wouldn't be the first person to have tried to manage it with alcohol, unfortunately.

It may also help you to know that people, in general, have a much higher tolerance for quirkiness than anybody ever expects. As long as you aren't peeing on their carpet or kicking their cat or something, people will usually enjoy having you around simply for the sake of having company.

Good luck.

Admitting you have a problem isn't ugly - it takes courage. Turning away from the realization, now THAT would be ugly.

People are indeed terrifying, but there are certainly some out there worth getting to know. I'm up at night alone most of the time, and I stopped enjoying alcohol after I noticed the people I was around were influencing my drinking level. I moved out, struggled with it a bit on and off, and then stopped in November when I decided to take control of my life again, in all aspects. I'll have a little for celebratory occasions (like earlier tonight, ironically enough). The nights get stupidly long, though. If I didn't have Netflix and tickets to keep me company, I don't know what I'd do at this point. It's more or less the equivalent of staring at a wall, except it flashes colors and makes noises that blend together after awhile.

I don't know your overall situation/follow you, but I'm still in the planning stages of an imminent, big move to get on with my life, with all the realizations and steps forward I've made since I graduated college last May. As long as you do it for the right reasons and aren't running away from something, a change of pace and scenery could do you, or anyone, a heck of a lot of good.

It's hard for me to comment as I don't know that I'll have anything useful to say. Of course there's a 'good luck,' and an, "I wish you well" in there. There'd be a hug if we were closer geographically. Though what I've written will sound trite, know that it's still meant with all sincerity. Only met you once, but it was a lasting impression. I hope to do so again. Be well.

New York sounds like a tough place for the anxious.

here's to the rest of your life, man. you got this!

I do sincerely wish you luck. For a significant portion of my life I've been attempting to come to grips with social anxiety struggles and bad coping habits so I empathize. You sound like you're on the right track with parsing it out like this; It took courage to put this out there. Being honest with yourself and identifying your core struggles are essential to recovery.
Fingers crossed. Best wishes, Clup.

I've had friends that have absolutely flowered after making that change. I only wish the same for you, dear cluppacat~

Best of luck, man.
Something I've been struggling with lately is leaving a comfort zone of being retracted from a highly social world, because I can't figure out if I even WANT to be in that world. Maybe that world seems so much more alluring when you drink.
Ever considered working out? It has a pretty cathartic effect for a lot of people, good for dealing with anxiety and exposing oneself. Though of course, do what feels like it works and is healthy.

Erf, I never understood bar culture. I've been terrified of the stuff since I was a kid, it's killed family members on both sides of my family, and with a depressive and addictive personality I didn't want to even bother learning to like the stuff. Good luck making the transition, though. Caffeine is my go-to, though it's not the best for anxiety.

Best of luck to you. I hope things look up soon. I've cut down drinking a lot since I got out of college, and I don't particularly regret it. Nowadays booze is more of an anxiety-delayer than an anxiety-annihilator for me. But I've cut down a lot on social activity, too.