So, got back a little bit ago from the local furry meetup which exactly one person will remember I've mentioned before having attended twice and not having had a good time of it. I almost decided not to go, having an attack of insecurity and very nearly had a drink before leaving (after having decided reluctantly not to bring a cup of coffee and kaluha to help me through it as I haven't enjoyed alcohol in a long time and don't think I ought to engage in anything that I wouldn't want to go to sober or high), and am quite glad I did go after all as I was able to hang out without any crippling anxiety and even talk to a few people although not extensively. I still don't feel any fit into the predominant cultural trends, as I don't watch tv ever or movies very often, and no new ones in about 5 years, don't play video games much anymore and not the ones everyone else is into anyway, talk a normal non-hollering volume when the person I'm conversing with is right in front of me, and am 10 - 15 years older than the bulk of the attendees and 20 years younger than most of the rest...but, since furrity is so artistically inclined I don't feel too conspicuous just sitting in a chair and drawing for long periods, and have a ready-made conversation starter since most of what I'm drawing is fur-centric. so, this doesn't matter to anyone but me, except that I think I get along best with other insecure neurotic loners who also have difficulties engaging in normal social interaction (eh normal aside from the fact that 3/4 of the people concerned are wearing tails, but you know what I mean). and, I regard this as a good bit of personal progress. but I still get a little upset inside that this is only happening now...I would have loved this sort of thing when I was 15 and feeling like a perverted alienated freak. I still feel like a perverted alienated freak but now I'm an old one too. hum, so much for positivity. can you believe this paragraph is composed of seven sentences including this one?

in other news, I'm going to have to talk about other news later because I'm suddenly feeling super tired and have to get up for werk tomorrow, but in brief cat's doing well, vet bill is still 1300 (although I did receive a donation from Kabi because he's an awesome sweetheart!), aunt is in the hospital with a weird infection, and I still haven't finished this project I'm working on or a million others. i think most of this shall still be relevant then, if less new. goodnight.

oh wait, in the meantime here's a worthwhile episode the the Duncan trussell family hour with graham hancock. okay, goodnight for real.