Hiya everyone,

Just thought I would write this little journal to mention that I'm going to take the good advice my dear friends have give me and go to bed. My internal clock is all screwy and my health isn't that wonderful, still, annoyingly enough so I'm gonna see if I can get to see a doctor in the morning.

Can't believe that I got up at 4:30 pm and have been cat napping since (granted one could point out that being a cat this is hardly odd). Having a huge sad slump at the mo, been thinking about my mum dying a lot and how my company fell apart years ago now and, I don't think I have done anything of value since. The ability to turn back time or properly regress would come in handy right now...
Don't worry I'll get over myself soon enough!

I'm going to curl up in a bit with our plushies and naps

I wish I could be myself, the rules and regs that keep a roof over our head keeps my like a tiger in a cage, going around and around, but never getting anywhere but I guess that was my Faustian deal to try to find a way I could get back on my feet.

About other online and offline presences,
Some people might get the wrong idea, some that might know me in the fur from back 7 years often think of me as some kinder monster without realising that that isn't me, I sometimes project a slightly untouchable arseish air about me or I might seem to some aloof but these were nothing more than facades. When I was younger (and sometimes even now) I felt the need to hide the real me behind a facade that I thought was what people wanted, especially back when I was in a band and perhaps I was wrong, but I thought that bein little and softer than those around me would pose a problem, but I want you to know that wasn't and isn't me.

Sometimes I can be strictly professional or even grown up and that's what people see in places like twitter and with organisations that I'm involved with it's almost always like that and I'm sorry.

I love you all and bid you a goodnight my dear, wonderful, amazing friends hugs forever