(I blame Silverone's new journal for sparking thoughts of the Afterlife.)

The first time it was introduced, I was 6. It was a place where we continued to exist with those we love. I can dig that.

There was a weekly church paper, kind of like the word searches and stuff you find on the kid's placemats at Denny's or Big Boy's, for bored kids to do in church. One time it had a blank space that said "draw what you think Heaven looks like"

...and what a Heaven it was. I knew it couldn't be in the clouds - we've been to the Moon and back and found no Heaven, so I placed it beyond Known Space, anchored to 4 asteroids. I also realized it would run out of space for all the departed souls rather quickly. It soon became an Engineer's Heaven, a Soul Factory.

The Souls of the departed were gathered by 4-man teams of Angels, Valkyrie-style. I imagined them to be rather limp, and unconscious, because they were well, dead. They then were loaded into a golden assembly line where in a continuous process the Angels purified them of Sin in order to be reincarnated - I didn't know the word, but I had the idea. For some reason, this involved mummification. It also took 3 days... which was why Jesus lay in the tomb for 3 days before he could resurrect - yes, he was a special case, but the Laws of Metaphysics, like the Law of Gravity, make exceptions for no one.

There were golden barracks for the Angels, storage for their equipment, plants where materials for the mummification and purification were produced and recycled, and a palace for the ultimate boss man - God.

I wish I still had that drawing. It didn't take me much catechism to realize it was way, way, off-base from Catholic teaching. Technically blasphemy... and so it went to the trash... even though I sometimes wonder if it might be close to the truth.

...it was the last time I liked Heaven.

My personal, logistically impressive (for a 6-year old), religion-blending Heaven was quickly replaced with the canon version. Clouds, pearly gates, only certain souls admitted.

I've never really liked that Heaven.

The problem is Heaven is the ultimate gated community... and gated communities always make me feel uncomfortable. If you feel I'm not "worthy" to live in your little subdivision, you're welcome to it. If you don't want me to walk by, don't worry, I wouldn't want to visit. If you don't want to even see me when you look out the window, I don't want to see you either.

Even from the outside, gated communities look sterile. Artificial. Their children have few other children to play with. No mingling with a wide range of people, no unapproved activities, no just playing with your friends outside or chilling on the curb like normal people, nothing in their lives that could form memories worth remembering. I imagine it's similar for the adults.

...I don't want to know what the Homeowner's Association would be like. It must be the Homeowner's Association from Hell.

Now put that in the Clouds. And have everyone on Earth spending their days cradle to grave trying to make the cut to be allowed to live there.

All the worst parts of trying to get into a gated community run rampant throughout the Christian/Muslem/Jewish world, and maybe a few other religions I'm less familiar with as well. Keeping up appearances, pretending your shit don't stink like everyone else's, going through the motions of going to church, fapping to wierd porn and cheating on your spouse but keeping it under wraps, worrying more about the quality of your lawn than the quality of the life you live on it, pretending to have more "means" more money than you do by making sure you drive the right car and have the right iphone... GAH!

Just... no.

I don't want any part of that.

I'd rather live anywhere else than the Gated Community.

The Spirit World, Limbo, the 9th Deadworld, even Hell.

Hell is like the inner city... it sucks, full of crime, rock hard cement streets, too hot from its own urban heat bubble.... some crazy guy in 1600 had a misguided idea to plan it all out on circles which was later abandoned by city management and now like all "planned" cities, getting around town is damn impossible. ...but all the interesting people are there. Alongside the murders, rapists, and thieves are the children who steal food, the artists, the bohemians, the "deviants", the philosophers, the blue collar workers and tradespeople... everyone who just lives life and doesn't give a fuck what the snobs in the gated community think.

That's where I'd rather be.

That's why I'm on sites like this - why wait until I'm dead to hang out with you guys?