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[VENT] Solution for Perpetual Loneliness? by Calcimas

I'm not sure why, but I feel that even when I'm surround by people I like, I still feel lonely... And know full well that "just make more friends" is not a healthy solution. It only amplifies such pain feelings... The worst part, is that it feels completely out of my control. I know I have friends who care and want to be around me, but my brain is unrealistically self-destructive and that hurts the worst.

How should I overcome this ordeal?

[VENT] Solution for Perpetual Loneliness?

Calcimas

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    Hazel3

    I hear it's fairly common to still feel lonely when surrounded by a group of people, I get that alot. but I guess we feel that way because people are doing their own thing and sticking to their own little groups of friends, and not inviting us along or even talking to us :< so I don't blame you for feeling this way too, I find the loneliness tends to go away when people and friends talk to me. only thing I don't really like is small talk since it's not enough to actually get to know someone and doesn't help with loneliness at all. I like nice long conversations, especially about the things we really like to talk about, like my special interests is oc and universe creations :3 I'm sorry to hear that you're lonely tho, I wish I could help. but if talking right now helps then I'm glad <:3 I use to get lonely alot when I didn't have enough people to talk to, some people I knew were ignorant aswell so these days I don't really bother with people who don't even take the time to reply to me. but do you think talking to peeps could help you with your loneliness? i know for sure it helps me <=) maybe it might help you too, who knows ^-^ anywho, I'm sorry if i came off mean or direct or anything (I don't mean to be), I hope I was able to help in some way <:3

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      Calcimas

      Thank you for your comment.

      Personally, I have no problem with my friends doing things on their own or having their own friend groups. And since I don't consider a shy person, I don't feel I need an invitation to talk with someone if I feel the desire to do so. However, on my worse days, talking with someone does not always help me, especially if I feel the second party and I have vastly different interests or mindsets, the latter becoming increasingly common as I age, therefore making me feel "outdated."

      Like I'd stated in my journal, I don't think simply making more friends is a healthy solution, since I feel "too many" more or less has the same effect as "too few." Plus, to me and only me, I prefer not to commoditize people. I'm just grateful if they remember my presence, honestly. Ultimately though, the main problem is myself, or more my brain, more accurately. I suffer from depression, and naturally, my brain is more prone to self-destructive decisions, despite my best efforts to keep it in check.