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Help wanted by RubberRabbit
I feel it would be best to post this on Weasyl, because of how journals work here, but I'm basically looking for advice on making and maintaining friendships online. I've got an explanation for why I'm doing this below.
I am afraid of making a bad impression when talking, so I'm very hesitant to start a conversation with someone I've never talked to. Instead I've been posting art in the hope that someone would show an interest and start chatting with me. This hasn't worked very well, with only a small number of watchers and passers-by from other sites deciding to reach out to me, and I would often encounter behaviour I'm uncomfortable with, like aggression, pessimism, discussing fetishes, and so on. I can't say I have many mutual friends online, and I've honestly felt pretty distant while others appear to get along well, so I want to change that.
Please only reply if you have any meaningful advice. I'm saying this because I've had people in the past complain and vent about their life problems when I ask for help, and I honestly find that pretty disrespectful. Also, please keep in mind the following:
- I am not looking for a romantic or intimate partner, nor do I want to talk about sexual interests or fetishes.
- I do not do roleplay, unless it's with people I know and trust. I also don't do things like art requests.
- I prefer one to one chats and small groups over larger communities, because from past experience, they often attract cynical and pessimistic behaviour I'd rather not engage with.
On another topic, I am going to post art more frequently here so that my Weasyl gallery catches up with my Fur Affinity gallery faster, and I will now aim for at most 10 pieces per week. They'll mostly be stuff I already posted within the last 2 years, though I'll share some newer stuff alongside them.
Help wanted
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The funny thing is that I only post commissions from other people, so while I've only had a few people asking for requests, including one in the last few weeks, I'm guessing they just assumed I made the stuff I shared. Anyway, would you like me to send a PM your way, just to get the ball rolling?
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yeahh I guess it can be hard to tell whether someone is an artist or commissioner, but it's important they read the infos and descriptions, as they contain important stuff like credits 'n' such
hhmm are you okay if we get to know each other in comments for now? sorry, I have trust issues so I'm a bit scared on moving to somewhere private with peeps I haven't quite gotten to know yet-
I think the the things to look out for are art style and signatures/watermarks. If the art style varies a lot in a gallery or if someone has signed a piece, that points to someone who only commissions art. It's also a way to spot certain types of scammers, because they'll post art they didn't make and claim it was a commission they made. I'm thinking of putting the artist's name in the title of the posts I make, just to hammer home that I bought it.
Anyway, I do prefer to have longer conversations with PMs instead of comments because I think it makes it easier to organise, but I can understand that feeling. There were a couple people that tried their hardest to quickly befriend me after discovering me, and I'd rather take things one step at a time.
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very true that. I also notice different art styles aswell :3 the watermarks/signature thing is new to me tho, luckily i like to put several watermarks of several usernames I go by so it's easier to find who the art is really by, so thieves can get caught in the wrong if they try to take my art and/or characters from me. and ofcourse, it doesn't look suspicious when they suddenly see I put my different usernames on different art posts, but my style seems to be a bit on the unique side so it should be easy to recognise me right?
I getcha, I'm most comfortable keeping pms just for friends and acquaintances only, cos I've left them on default/public on sites before and had bullies try to use it to attack me "secretly" so nobody can protect me except for myself, and that's hard enough already as it is. D: but either way, i still tell on them and warn my friends if they try anything anyway. U.U already got a stalker on here copying me and making cheap knockoff versions of my characters Sakura and Yuki.. :/ but yeah It's always better to be safe than sorry, that's why I go to settings first thing when I join sites and make sure messages are set to friends only
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I actually prefer it when artists sign their artwork, so long it isn't anything I'd consider too obtrusive. As for PMs, I stopped putting out my Discord and Telegram usernames because of things like strangers sending friend requests, getting messages I couldn't respond properly to, like "hey" or "hi, and various spam and "jokey" messages I didn't find amusing. A Discord server mod also found my Telegram account and sent some messages accusing me of sending spam links to them and the server (long story short, it was from someone else using my account after getting my login details), so that's another reason why.
I do remember an incident in a Telegram group where someone was apparently blocked by a certain user, yet they would still get condescending remarks from them while in the group. When they complained to the group owner, they simply said people of their nationality tend to be brash in general, and later they said there was nothing they could do and told the user to ignore them. I did receive similar messages from that guy, despite them seemingly getting along well with the other people in the group, and I left mainly because of them.
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yeah watermarks covering the main/important parts of the piece can ruin a nice picture, that's why I try and keep em nearby and sorta make it like a hidden easter egg where the art is the main focus and the watermarks are the last thing you'll notice as they're so hidden X3 i feel this can really help if my art gets stolen since my watermarks are something you'll notice later, and alot of thieves will try to cut out the watermarks anyway so that's why i try to keep mine on important parts of the pictures. like for example, if it's a picture of a character discovering a mysterious treasure chest, one of the watermarks will be on the chest too, but still subtle and hidden so it's not noticable right away
bypassing blocks is never cool.. infact, it's against the rules on many places, as it invades peoples boundaries they've set for a reason. had bullies try to do that before including one who keeps trying to come up for another round every year and trying to trick me, but don't worry, I knew it was a trap. this fox still managed to outfox them ¬w¬ but this year the manipulator really couldn't stand my existence and couldn't stand the fact that i was happy, so they tried to start a smear campaign. luckily them and their angry mob of flying monkeys have given up anyway, yaay ^w^ but i get the feeling they're still gonna come back for yet another round when the next year comes, well if they do that then i'll just protect and defend myself once more UwU
but yeah, nationality is no excuse for horrible behaviour, besides isn't that stereotyping? people say that we scots can be brave, feisty, and quite "rude" but again that's just another stereotype that ain't accurate for everyone. i'm actually a very apologetic person at times and yet that can be a stereotype for canadians, but i'm not really canadian so yeah ^-^;-
Funny you mentioned that, because the guy in question was a Scot (I won't go into detail here, but there's a pretty obvious giveaway). I thought the group owner's explanation was a red flag, and most of the people I've told about this incident didn't like it either, except for someone in a Discord server who said something like "LMAO I have a Scottish girlfriend and that is so true". I honestly found that server to be one of the most toxic and obnoxious environments I've ever been a part of, so I left after a couple months. Anyway, I don't know the exact reason why they behaved like that to me and a other few people and got along fine with the rest, but I believe it's because of my relatively short time in the furry community at large, me saying things about certain rubber suits and a controversial seller of them that rubbed them the wrong way, and them just seeing me as yet another "stupid person worthy of scorn and ridicule" (I'll go ahead and say the whole "enraged by stupidity" thing is something I've grown to hate over the last couple years). That said, I don't know whether or not they were just a troll, because I mostly stopped replying to them after they responded to a post I made with a facepalm gif.
Anyway, while I've been around some angry and hostile people online, I think that was the only guy that's really targeted me like that. Aside from that, the issue I wanted to resolve the most is the type of people who interact with me. Best example I can give is how this one user on Fur Affinity would comment on a lot my posts, and I found it to be weird gushing more than anything else. I actually blocked them because of that, as well as them often being the only person to comment on any of my posts. I am thinking about whether to unblock them however, since I don't really read comments on FA anymore and I'm starting to make Weasyl my "main" gallery.
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sighs and slowly shakes head at these people stereotypical..very stereotypical... /nay but not all scottish people are like this don't worry <:o i'm actually very polite, but the only time I might seem direct and "impolite" is when i find it hard to word things while still wanting honest about it, which i know being honest and polite at the same time can be considered "hard" and "challenging" but with me? challenge accepted >:3 and well, i'm neurodivergent so alot of my behaviours might come off as "rude" when i'm not tryna be, but i'm not doing it to be mean I promise. I'm just highly misunderstood, like very very misunderstood. the only time i ever get hostile is when i need to be, which is usually self defense and standing up for myself, cos well, i get bullied alot and people need to realise that i'm nice yes, i'm different yes, i'm a weird kid yes, but that doesn't make me a doormat. kindness is never a weakness and i will stand up and protect myself if i need to. U.U but that's usually the only time i'm ever mean: if people are mean to me first.
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To be honest, I feel like I often find myself around people that seem to go mad anytime I cross their personal boundaries, usually without warning, and it's probably the main reason why I'm hesitant to start a conversation with someone. I usually don't try to defend myself because I don't want to stoop to their level, plus some of those people happen to be Discord server owners and moderators, so doing that to them in their server and in front of a visible audience is just asking for trouble.
That said, I do want to be more assertive with my wants and needs, and that's going to affect the art I buy from now on. I want to be around people that value and respect me for who I am instead of those who care more about what I like and whatever fetishes (they think) I have.
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Hazel3
yea I don't really do art requests anymore either, trades and commissions just feel more rewarding to me ^-^; anyway, I'm always open for making new friends :3