I laughed at myself silly who wrote the "Is Comic Art Media dead? The answer is complicated..." journal. It's definitely messy, all over the place. It was definitely a nice insanely long rant on. It does need serious editing work along with rewriting tho. I doubt how anybody can really understands what I was struggling to say and make a point.

Anyway, move on to something else for a while.

If someone calls me a furry, that's fine. heh. They can put me inside a box inside their own head box. I'm still being myself outside of thier own skulls. I have my own personal beliefs and values that most furries probably don't share with. If they wanna call me a furry, more power to them. Heh, not a problem with me.

I admittedly don't care much for the label furry. I used to call furries being as the "mutant animals" for while growing up in the 90's and 00's, before I started talking with furries in the furry fandom at the age 23 after college. Furry used to be more on being experimental at the time, new untested label at the time during my years in high school and college. I still don't believe the word furry has tight strong meaning, it's still very much loose label even today.

As for the older furs who are lot older than I am, it's important to keep in mind during 2000's, meaning many furry creators like TwoKinds creator, Rick Griffin of Housepets fame, david of Jack fame, etc. Were avoiding the label furry due to lot of negativity and hate on the internet at the time. they couldn't allow themselves be branded by a mere label that does seem silly today. That used to have strong negativity power attached back in the 90's and 00's at the time.

I'm surprised I do seem to have some or more things in common with Steve Ditko and his objectivism (while I was randomly reading up on golden age artists, but end up looking at some silver age stuff that Ditko is in). However, the biggest difference is that I don't practice objectivism. it's more of genetics and personality I got from my family I noticed over the years, it's somehow weirdly familiar to objectivism. But, it's definitely not. I feel that Steve Ditko took it too seriously on himself, while I avoid it mostly. 

I feel that objectivism is definitely deeply flawed and tend to cause more problems. Since humanity are imperfect, living by clear cut morals can lead to problematic lifestyles. More of a fantasy somehow.

 While we can be hyper individuals not always needing each other, but we cannot live without each other. Humanity can die out without each other unintentionally to. Unfortunately people like myself just can't handle lot of average groups, I do suffer in them unintentionally.

As to explain better about myself.

Visuals are deeply powerful to my self growing up, which seem lead to self repressing, due to not able to relate with most of the people who tend to be impaired in their own visual intelligence. I talked about having strong visual memory as a child that my mother and some teachers never forget, how I can create strong visual pictures to remember places and things by, which does explains strange odd memories. Which is why I use English subtitles more instead of listening on movies, allowing the visual imagery, atmospheric mood of the soundtrack, etc I love the most. While reading along. I rather read words more than I listen. Which is why when I used to watch the news, I keep the sound turned off, so I can read the closed captioning in silence. This was done on purpose to dumb down the performances of the public speakers and politicians who use their own cult like personalities to control whatever it is intentional or not. It can be really funny seeing how the words plays out, without voices xD. Without personalities. I just don't listen very much, as I like to make my own personal choices on how I emotionally feel if any.

My mind personality is very nuanced, I see the world and things in a very nuanced way. I see lot of gray areas more than most people do. Especially growing up not able to have someone who is self aware very much like I am. Meaning I do unintentionally lack in role models, I couldn't look up to someone I can admire, there really isn't any. I used to believe everyone was very much like myself, which is why I was unintentionally repressing myself, by accident. Which is why I’m always too comfortable with the weirdness by being a furry among non-furries and willing to follow the rules of the humanity at the same time that most can’t follow well. It didn't brother me much as rules does to others.

This self discovery by doing lot of self meditating and emotionally happier unfortunately leads to realizing groups being average in a way I can't relate with, in a way now realized so many people can’t do what I can believe in myself the most. I may feel more lonely now, but lot happier.

probably because of the weird intelligence that views world in a strange way I grow up with, can help myself avoid lot of problematic feelings that most can't. While it is good, but it means no one to relate with. Being too self aware of things in a way most can't, without anybody to keep myself in check. Shrug, it is difficult. I can live in happiness more I suppose by realized so much. As I understood my own, I'm emotionally happier. I live by my own rules and beliefs that most can't handle or understand. Which does explains how odd and strange I'm to others. Especially my parts of my family were definitely weirder than I am. More of a genetic thing. There are still lot more to understand I'm sure?

However... Honestly, groups does sucky sucks totally at times. :V Who are those people? Are we truly more alone than we truly realized?