Being the person who replies to the main post content, as well as to the replies and comments from other people.

I have a lot to unload here.

I do that a lot, my hope is that it generates conversation and dialogue in the direction of whatever the topic is with the people involved in the tweet.

Part of that hope is the deep rooted longing/desire/wish to be acknowledged, accepted, liked, welcomed, included, wanted.

My fear and mental trickery tells me that replying to other people is annoying, overbearing, desperate, and will result in being ignored, left out, shunned, and negatively associate me anytime someone sees my icon or name anywhere. To use a common phrase: "leave a bad taste in their mouth".

The conflict is that it can feel like being that "oh oh pick me, pick me" person jumping up and down behind the crowd that everyone wishes would shut up and go away because they are annoying and the choosing party are politely ignoring them. One would say that person is desperate.

Confession time: I am desperate.
I want the people I interact with to like me or what I say, I want to be interacted with, why? It feels like it means that people like me and want me around. They care about me, someone accepts me. I'm not going to be alone.

Yet being desperate might make people uncomfortable and not want to be around me. For the most part I think I manage pretty well with my social media etiquette, it's when I compare myself to the people who can say or do anything and receive feedback and recognition without effort. It becomes "I want to be able to do that", "If they can do that, why not me?", "How do I get to that?" so if and when the constant attempts to earn and achieve the feedback and interaction I want fails to take off, it hurts.

Feelings of failure, not being good enough, why would anyone like someone who keeps failing at their attempts, the constant beat down is draining and harmful. I feel like the desperation is an active fleeing of the failure and hurt it's causing, trying to get away from a monster. Of course, when nothing happens and attempts to interact fail again, the monster catches me and drags me back to the dark hole of all that bad mental trickery and it feels like no one else has a care in the world about it.

I can't get people to respond to me, I know that. No matter what I try, at the end of the day it is up to other people to decide if they want to respond back to me.

Okay I feel like I got something off my chest, vented if you will. Probably went on a few tangents and through a mental fog to get somewhere.

Does this situation ever happen to you, where you feel annoying to other people just because you reply to other replies on a tweet?