so I've turned 28 today...I just didn't imagine I would be in the situation that I am in currently...

I have lost my job towards the end of July. granted I needed to get out of that place anyways for reasons I will not state in this post, but the journey towards bettering myself has been quite the difficult one.

I've been out of the job for 2 weeks now. throughout those 2 weeks, I've applied for about 20-30ish jobs, applied for unemployment, and recently been applying for other help programs out there in my state. so far I've been either declined, no response, or things are still pending. though this time around I'll admit: I'm being picky about my next job. I admittedly don't want to work retail or fast food anymore as I've worked those types of jobs for years now...and I want to move onto something more relevant to my skills and interests. though as the weeks drag on by...I get more and more tempted to get back into the trenches of retail...it really sucks. doesn't help either that I've school I still need to finish and figure out professionally what I want to do.

My original plan was to get my degree in computer game design, then get a side job in the meanwhile hopefully either in computers or design, and then come up with a game plan from there. I guess throughout that time I didn't get specific enough on that decision. I'm still confident though that I can get a job around my field out there. if someone could get a programming job with a music degree, then damn it I can get a job anywhere...I just gotta work for it.

my emotional health has been...bad these last couple of weeks... I'll admit it. i...sleep until noon. I wake up feeling lethargic and defeated, and I let that momentum kind of ruin my days so far. i...need to be more positive with myself...and it's not all doom and gloom either. I've enough money to last me until the end of September if worst came to worst. so i...still got a bit of time. foodwise i...could be worse...but I wonder if it's going to last me until the end of September as well...I've been getting side money here and there too (and for those who've commissioned me so far...thank you so much ;_; ) so...it's not the end yet...

if I can ask for anything for my birthday rn...it's at least moral support rn...as I don't know where this train will take me. I just hope I can laugh at this situation in the future and...hopefully be at a better place

I love you all...and I wish everyone well in these crazy times