I don’t know if there is such a thing a video game playing addiction, or, if there is, if it’s what I have. And ultimately, it isn’t relevant to what I’m going to talk about, other than it involves video games, because it isn’t affecting my work, both the writing and what’s paying the bills. (still not the same thing, soon hopefully)

Something happens with me and video. When I start playing, I can keep going so long as it doesn’t affect my work or my writing, then I’ll purposely stop. and no, stopping isn’t hard. I make the decision and it happens. the next week will find me thinking about the game a fair bit, then that fades and I’m good until I decide to start playing again, usually years later, or if I find myself at home for an extended period of time. that’s what happened while I was on medical leave.

I build a stable schedule and I stuck to it fairly well.

When I went back on the road I kept to the schedule as well as I could, considering my schedule is impossible to stabilize. And still, it didn’t get in the way of my writing (on the toad gaming has never gotten in the way of my work)

Due to circumstances, this week I wasn’t able to play at all. (my approved gaming schedule is 6pm to 8pm) and as I approached day 5, I began to notice something I’ve felt on precious times, but which I hadn’t paid too much attention to.

I began feeling a reluctance to play again.

There isn’t really another way to describe it. I saw Sunday approach, and I always have time to play on that day, and I started questioning if I should play. I still enjoy the game, so it wasn’t about being bored with it, which was an aspect of the previous times, I’d grown bored with the game.

What would I do if I didn’t play? Nothing? It isn’t like I’d do more writing. I’m set on that schedule too. I only write in the morning and once I’m done, I am done. So what would I do? Surf Youtube? Binge TV shows? What? I know myself enough to know the goal would be to just relax, so gaming made as much sense as anything else.

And yet, that reluctance.

I did end up playing. I had fun, although by the end things got chaotic enough, I suspect I need to rebuild my factory (I’m playing Satisfactory at the moment). I need a better way to keep track of what I’m building, how many and so on. I have ideas of how I’ll rebuild it.

And now I’m looking forward to playing again, and hopefully I will be able to this week. if not at the end of the day, while I’m being loaded/unloaded at customers is another time I can play.

If I can’t play this week, I’ll have to see how the reluctance to play develops.

On the writing front, I finished A Fraudulent Death and sent that to the editor. I have started book 3 of Demons. that’s 2 chapters out of 28 done. So I’m looking at a little more than 5 weeks to do until Stepping Up switches back to 3 times a week.

And with that. I, will wish you a good day.