Most of the time I try to keep my problems to myself but in this case it necessitates me to put on my big girl panties and start doing things that I normally hate doing, or haven't been doing as I should.

Yesterday I was laid off from my job of 13 years. I had heard such things were coming but I was shocked when it happened. I had no idea that they would get rid of my position given our relative importance to where I work. I was brought into a meeting, told that I shouldn't come to work tomorrow, and escorted back to my desk where I packed up my things and tried my hardest not to bust out crying.

I never thought I'd be there for 13 years or that it would ever go away unless I left. It's the longest time I've held any job, and I've known some of those people forever. I told my officemate and took my starships and Grumpy bear doll and went home.

Last night I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I'm still grieving. It's funny, because I never really felt any loyalty to the job in that it was a means to an end for me, but it was comfortable, I had good coworkers, and a lot of perks.

As for what happens now, I'm okay. I have a lot of money saved, and we own the house so there's no immediate issues. The car is paid off, but I may have to suspend adding to the car fund for the duration of the unemployment. I've never been laid off before so I have no idea what to do just yet but as I have been told by my job, I have pay coming for 2 months and benefits until the end of November.

Sadly, all but one of my patreon pledges I'm going to have to drop, and maybe one :iconjakkal: I may have to reduce, and all non essential art will be on hold until I'm an employed zebra again. This means I must apologize to :iconmatthiasrat: for being the worst person ever. And no 'fun art'. For now.

I'm in no financial danger for at least 6 months, probably more if I stretch it, but we'll see what happens.

To that end, I'm going to do my best to see that this time is productive, however long it ends up being.

I hate interviewing, and I've never interviewed after transitioning before.

There are a lot of things to do that I've been putting off, but I can't do that anymore.

So since I have no excuse right now I'm going to put more time into my videos and get my writing back on track. Once I tackle that herculean task, I just have to keep it going.

I'm not okay.

But I will be.

If you've read this far, thank you. Now is probably the time to remind folks that I do have a book for sale on amazon, and if you like werewolves I'm pretty proud of it.

[url=https://www.amazon.com/Blue-Moon-Lauren-Rivers/dp/0999617001/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=iridescence+studio+blue+moon&qid=1599148289&sr=8-1] Blue Moon [/url]

Coming soon I'll put in place a mechanism where you can order a signed copy for an additional fee, should you want one.