Over two years ago, I finished re-uploading most of my old art on August 24th, 2018 to my Tremaine account.
When I started re-uploading my art, I was wondering if I was making the right decision, or a huge mistake. It turns out that it was one of the best decisions I could have possibly made, and even had a great number of positive side effects I never anticipated!
It restored a lot of beloved creations to be shared among fans, friends, and people new to my works. And, it helped me make peace with my own past in a really profound way! I could put a lot of events back in their original context and forgive myself for a lot of decisions I've made over the years. It also made a number of things really clear to me, like a trend of severe anxiety and depression that started since I left high school in 1995, was finally identified in 2012, and for which I'm finally taking really helpful medication for in 2020! Like, you have no idea how much I beat myself up for my decreased output over the years, but really had no clue it was due to worsening mental illness issues. This means my re-uploading of my art brought me unexpected peace of mind, and a more centered me in the present!
Thank you all so very much for your incredible support back then, and even now! It means more to me than you can even know!
I also want to say regarding my future: I am on anti-anxiety and antidepressant medicine, and it does make me feel more like "me" but without all the sadness, darkness, and near-constant worry. I can positively way the darkness and worry has been a part of me since I was very little; now, I have space for other emotions, like joy, calm, almost anything I want, and it's awesome! I feel like creating is easier now that I'm not feeling awful all the time.
Right now, I want to work on a fun, long series with Evan, my bunny guy, and Tremmie, my black-haired vixen! From silly flirting, foreplay, gooey sex and sweet, silly cuddles, I want to have fun with this! It's something I've been wanting to do since 2007, but I am very sure I was already in a major depression back then.
I also want to say, Wendy Rose (Mistletoe) and I have been married 15 years today! I am so glad I married my best friend. We've been each other's light and joy, and have stood by each other in our darkest times. I can honestly say we are truly happier than we've ever been today. I mention this because re-uploading my art has indeed contributed positively to my own mental health, and I want to thank you all for welcoming me with enthusiasm!