Just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I might have overreacted a bit in my last journal, even if in how I worded it. The situation is of course real: They're still showing the army patrolling the city center in tanks while wearing rifles. Many people are revolted by this... at least those with a brain who haven't been scared into accepting absolutely anything the moment you spook them with a good sounding reason. A popular journalist here dared to yell at them outright and called them worse than the Nazis... others appear as if they're afraid to speak out against the measures, implying they agree they're overboard but can't be too open about it. The governmental ilk is trying to find excuses for this now... some say it's to defend against potential looters after a lot of people are coming back from affected countries, many of which are doing very stupid things to say the least; If I could believe that's true I could care a little less, but this still looks like an attack on the population at a point in history where intolerance and persecution are worse than they've ever been during the lifetime of my generation.

My mother admitted she freaked out and exaggerated this morning, which of course sent me into a spiral as that's easy to do with those things. Apparently a friend on her Facebook told people that you need to print some ridiculous declaration then sign it then scan it then put it on your phone then show your phone to the army if they stop you, since you allegedly had to write on paper if you're going to the market next door and explain what fruits and vegetables you're buying. Obviously something downright ridiculous and beyond insane which I of course dismissed immediately and didn't want to even bother commenting on, which scared her that we may get a fine that could send me to prison (just for going to the store as I did my whole life). I had to take care of some banking stuff before they closed so I wouldn't have had the time to do all that anyway, plus my printer's out of cartridges so only the scanner works... which of course is irrelevant because I'd rather die than ever accept such bullshit: Give me such a document and I'll rip it in a billion pieces then make that person eat them. It was later clarified that this is only required for emergency exits during curfew hours, or for people over the age of 65 going out past the hours deemed safe for them... neither things affecting me, I'm 31 and never had a reason to be out past 10 PM here.

I'm still nervous about the trip Monday since I'm sure to encounter both police officers and soldiers. I'm likely not breaking any state of emergency law, but at this point no one even knows as it's a total mess powered only by paranoia and lack of judgment. I'm prolly gonna ride the subway with an assault rifle hanging from someone's neck a few meters away... part of me wants to say that's gonna be cool, but the other part would rather know if this is god knows who's militia and it might all turn into a story similar to the early days of the Nazis taking over Germany.

I hope people can understand that after you deal with the delusion and aggression I've seen in places like Twitter / Gab then even government and law enforcement, you must assume anything is possible. There are people out there who would snap someone's neck because of something they think or feel, often times without the person even knowing someone would have such a thought... all based on some whacked up association they convinced themselves of and decided something harmless is endangering them or an outer-space alien race called the children (being sarcastic over how they see them). Especially after the UN tried to ban anime or comic book artists started arrested in the UK, I literally expect anything to be a plot for putting a bullet in the heads of everyone who hasn't converted to their social doctrine; For some it can be hard to realize, but people with such mindsets can go to the greatest lengths to do the most absurd of things to others... from the little person to a political party running the world.

There are other reasons I don't discuss behind my paranoia and detachment. Don't worry: It's not some "spooky sexuality" or whatever this world loves shitting bricks over... unless being attracted to anthros also becomes a crime, you never know what it's gonna be trendy to feel terrified of tomorrow! It's things I discuss quietly and don't make too obvious, as if it gets too much attention my safety could be in danger. I remain silent as I have for over 15 years... best for everyone including others like me, who could be demonized because people don't like me in particular and make simpleton associations. Those who are close know what it's about... eventually the world at large may learn of certain things and grow to take them seriously, at which point how they react will be completely random: Either they accept you and you become a protected category no one can even criticize because it's whatever-ist, either they pull the machetes out and chase you like you're Lucifer himself... roll of the dice, all depends on who gets to place which label and make the most nice sounding assumptions to appease or concern the interests of vocal groups. If someday I'm found out and must inevitably pay a visit to the gas chamber, so frigging be it! For now that time hasn't yet come, and society is busy getting offended over more obvious things anyway... even if I feel bad for those groups, especially knowing they're just an example of what may come for others later on.