It's been deeply long long time since I wrote about my feelings, my deep thoughts, etc. I wish I can write all of the things I have been venting out for years on the telegram. Explaining all of them. But I feel very lazy and relaxed, I'm not in the mood to be very chatty as I used to be. Yes, my improved health works due to eating healthier (tight calories count, avoiding junk stuff, aiming for most natural foods), making sure I sleep enough, and staying active best as I can (my job always make me stand up, do things for hours each day). I finally got rid of my many years' worth of junk by selling them on eBay and donated worthless stuff to the thrift shops over a year. Made over $4,000+ on eBay last year. I'm down to only two boxes left thankfully, should be very easy to get them listed and all done. That means now I'm no longer a reseller yay! 15 years of reselling is now done and all ended. 2020's will be very deeply important decade in myself as a artist I need to be.

My life as a former Christian Furs admin and also as a former creator of the Christian Furs telegram group. It was... A series of roller coaster rides. I thought I was going to be with the Christian Furs for all of my life. The history of the ownership on the group have been very messy due to the fact I was suffering from poor english skills and poor health in the year 2016. In the end, I choose to allow the CFF to keep it in order to make it all up for misunderstanding on my part. My only mistake was, allowing CFF to have too much control over the telegram group. Allowing too many cooks in the kitchen. They did become very deeply judgmental on how I am to them. I feel they only wanted the group, and really never care much for me. Things got put of hand in the later years. After three years, I finally left Christian Furs on the first day of the year 2019. It was the biggest christian furry group at the time, over 220 furs. Than the year 2019 did got weird with old former friends I used to have. Those furs does have weird wacky ideas about me that doesn't make much sense at all. I must have been politically used by them in a way I'm thankful I never took them serious in the first place. Because I'm always been deeply skeptical of everyone I work and deal with. There was handful of furs wanting me to destroy the Christian Furs telegram group, I always refuse to destroy the group. No matter how much I disagree with the CF admins I used to work with. I never have any interests in punishing them, I do not believe they deserve any harm.

Many months later after I left the Christian Furs, I finally made up my mind to create Defenders of the Cross Telegram Group. (please feel free to ask me for the invite link as long agreed to the written rules) It was my impressively improved mental health that made me willing to do it. I really feel like a kid again, it was wonderful. But it's not the same, since many friends I used to have no longer see me as a friend to them anymore. The group is now over 50 furs in it, and it's very deeply impressive number after being up for many months. Still sucks that handful of furs I thought they were my friends, no longer want to do much with me. They were only pretending to be friends with me.

I don't know I really want to keep on dealing with furry christianity anymore. Honestly, christianity in general is always been one very ugly mess everywhere. I always know this for all of my life. That's why Christian Furs was created to keep things more in a straight line, and keep worse drama stay out. Give many furries a chance at more normal life, etc. But, yes the admins got cold feet and end up allowing many things stay in. I guess I'm always been a loner all my life, and will continue stay a loner for many decades to come.

As for the upcoming projects, I wrote a list of them I will be working on. I won't reveal the names of the projects, those are comic stories I'm planning. Those are not furry transformation comic pages (I doubt I will want to make them as I used to, they take up lot of time and energy. I can see myself doing less, unless more interests in a way will pay well.) I'm also working with two writers who wants me to make comic pages for them as long they're paying me. Sci-fi stuff they want me to work on.