Feb 8th, 8:30am

...This is hard. Holy fuck this is hard for me to make.
I don't share too much of my personal life online. There's a few things I am okay with others knowing because it helps explain my behavior. And there's several things that I would never release because of many personal issues with them, one being my real name. But my "At-Home" situation I've been on and off about. Not because I'm ashamed, specifically, but more that it took... A lot of explaining and understanding of what I've been through, which takes even more and even more, etc.

This is why I've usually kept in the down-low about me living with my parents. Well, 'Parent', whereas me and my mother were taking care of my father until he passed in 2012. A couple years before I started writing or doing anything on this site. And for a long time it was me and my mother dealing with whatever was on our plates year after year. Sometimes it was nearby sinkholes, other times it was personal stuff. But we were always together.

I'm skipping a lot of jazz to not waste your time, but we've been through a lot together. While everyone else left (kind of how children are supposed to), I stayed behind to make sure my mother was alright. And when my Fatigue started to become a much larger problem, we helped each other out through the harder times. Though I may have relied on her a little too much in my life.

You can see where this is going; we both got sick a week ago. Terribly sick. I was able to barely get up and down the stairs, lightheaded and weak, while she was bedridden. I did what I could, but when she started to get very bad stomach pains, we called an ambulance. That was on Thursday morning, and later that afternoon she had a rupture in her bowel.

She passed away Saturday morning, due to many different things. Mostly from the fact that some of her organs were becoming Necrotic or starting to decay. I'm not a doctor/nurse/medical student, so I won't butcher any explanations here. It's hardly important.

Why am I writing this then?
Because I lost someone beyond important to me, and I am going to have to take some time to figure things out. Where I'm going to live, what I'm going to do about this house that I clearly cannot take care of by myself. I've got a few ideas, but I don't think I'll be doing any writing for a while. Sorry, I know there's been some of you that are waiting for the next act in a series or two. But this is far more devastating than I ever expected it to be. While losing two of my sisters within 2 years, and my father were little shakes in my life; losing my mother was like a meteor impact that leveled everything.

But I'll... I'll try my best here to stay alive. As much as I just want to abandon all hope of ever feeling safe again and just follow her, I owe her that much to at least Try. But I'll need time.

Farewell Charlotte: another superhero that this world lost.
Your bear will be fine~

...Even if he just set the shop vacuum on fire today attempting to clean the pellet stove.