"Real women/men are/have/do _____"

"You're not a real woman/man until/unless/if ______"

I can't stand these kinds of statements.

First off, we're talking about very limiting parameters for what defines each gender. So what are the people that do not fit these stereotypes? Fake women? Pretend men?

Precisely how is my gender and sex negated because I do not fit this concept of what a "real" woman is?

In reality, they are not talking about "real" women or men, but about their own ideals of how each gender should act and look. To the users of this statement an ideal woman/man fits this particular ideal. While I have nothing against having an ideal (realistically we all have a concept of an ideal in beauty) but to define that as what a "real" woman/man just rubs me the wrong way.

The only thing that make someone a real woman or a real man is identifying as that gender. I am a woman- I may have small hips and no maternal inclinations, but my womanhood is not fictional.

And now to veer off a bit:

I personally do not even care about having the actual parts, because if I'm not having sex with them I do not give a damn if someone calls himself a man but in reality has a vagina. It really doesn't matter. They may not be physically male but reproductive organs are only needed to fulfill that gender role in a sexual situation, and if you are not having sex with that person then for all intents and purposes they are male.