even worse stuff happened when I got back home from my trip cause I've been back sense the 8th, I have actually completely stopped drawing for the time being and am not even drawing to post on things like twitter and instagram now and idk when I'll start again because I just feel completely broken like my spirit is completely crushed. I came back from my vacation to my entire house being just absolutely destroyed, my entire bathroom ripped apart, my kitchen just massacred and just tons of my stuff broken or just straight up missing in some cases. My one family member that was supposed to be watching my house decided to let in another family member and they tried to fix my bathroom while I was gone which I guess was a half ass sweet gesture, but they just.. they destroyed everything and I've had to go behind them and attempt to fix everything and sink every bit of money I had into replacing as much as I could and it didn't even put a dent into what they destroyed. I came home to not even having basic hygiene things anymore like a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, etc. and had to replace Everything. I don't even have the money to replace every little thing like I still don't have razors or eye drops now or not broken broom.
The person watching the house didn't even have the kindness to call me and tell me during my trip, literally the day after I left, that one of my pets passed away and didn't tell me until I was literally sitting in the driveway of my home before walking into this disaster...
and then on top of everything my heater is dying right before winter and I can't get a replacement until the end of November that we found out just the other day we can't afford because here the prices of them got raised sense last year, but I can't afford to just run electrical heaters either which aren't even mine there borrowed and I'm not allowed to borrow them all winter and I can't afford to buy my own so I don't know what to do because I live somewhere where the winters get cold enough to freeze pipes and literally freeze someone to death.
And on top of alllll of that I'm trying to find my boys a new home because I just can't afford to take care of them anymore and my health is so bad anymore that it's not fair to my two ferrets but my area is horrifyingly bad for pets apparently, because every person that's been interested has been god awful and I refuse to give them over to someone that doesn't even know that there's actual ferret food and you don't feed them and I F-CKING QUOTE "dog food and milk" like absolutely not. an several others thought you just fed them cat food which almost all cat foods are god awful for ferrets and will cause serious health problems over a prolonged period. and then this one other psycho wanted them for target practice for shooting cause "well there only a ferret which is just a weasel thing right? why should it matter?" like F-ck that guy. an even with ferret food you can't just up and switch foods on them a lot of times that'll make them sick and can cause some bad problems you gotta change them over slowly and mix the new food brand into the old food brand and slowly switch them over. like it's not rocket science I don't get why this seems so hard for people especially when the internet is a thing and you can literally look up at any time how to care for even more super strange exotic pets...
so yeah... idk when there will be art.. on any platform.. I'm just a broken shell of a person and I just don't know what I'm doing anymore now. I barely can even see anything because I needed to start saving to get new lenses for my glasses, but now I can't even do that, because of all this bullshit so now I have to continue to deal with eye migraines all time...
I'm just so tired. worst part is I'm probably missing a bunch of stuff to this list because soo much bad shit has happened and I've only been home 18 days. Not even home a full month and I feel like I'm in my own personal hell. feels like some cruel cosmic joke, but I digress. I'm sorry this was so long, but I just wanted to really stress that shit really really hit the fan and I just... I just can't. I'm done this time. I'm just absolutely done and broken and I have mentally checked out and I'm done with art and like everything I enjoy because I don't have the money, time, or mental/physical energy to give a f-ck about anything and I have no idea for how long.