Well, it is with a heavy heart I announce I'm still being abused by my parents, and the pain from that abuse would ruin any social interaction I would try to make so I am simply not going to try new social interactions with familiar or new groups, cause the pain is too much.

Nobody wants to listen to tales of abuse at a convention or a social gathering. I have too much of that stored up that it just always comes up even if I perceive a slight connection of trust, which is over-amplified by my autism, it creates a massive disconnect of jumping ahead in terms of mutual trust, which ruins everything.

I wish it was as simple as "this is a choice I am making," but it's because of all the factors working against me in terms of abuse received, the futile attempt to hold it back, autistic traits creating "one track mind" syndrome, and the fact depressive thoughts aren't just in my head, they're verified through abuse...

It's been 2+ years and the "cure" most of the people that have left me have requested, hasn't materialized. I just had a social worker change so 2 years of first hand experience gets reset to zero on a "procedural" social worker rather than a "personable" social worker.

If you are still curious at all, I did a 4 hour livestream a few days ago on abuse, depression and autism here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/387518345