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Prayer by Bartan

Hello there,
You were likely directed to this journal by me to save me from needing to repeat myself towards every person I ever meet, likely after asking about some sort of social interaction. Be it adding me to discord, or some type of social media, etc. This isn't an automatic message to say "No" by any means, this is just me explaining a few things while saying "Sure."

So! You know how some people are Introverts; meaning that they lose energy with social interaction and such? I have a condition that is an extreme version of that. My energy rapidly drains when I'm seeing someone in person, talking to them over the phone/chat, or even chatting with them via text. To explain how this happened is a long story, and I will not proceed to bore you with the details.

However, if you're given this link, I just want you to understand that when I give you something like my Discord address, do keep in mind that I only have so much energy. The more you drain it, the less I will have for other people, for work like my writings, to even just existing. I have been pushed into a near coma because of this before. It is a real issue that I've, my doctors, my counselors, or my psychiatrist have yet to find a name for, and it has gotten to the point where I can no longer work. Meaning, I'm currently living off of disability due to this.

This also means that travel is absolutely out of the question as well. Visiting people, or even having people visit Me is not healthy. Because after a couple of hours, my batteries are completely drained and I will likely have to spend the next few days attempting to rest it off. And full on relationships are sadly out of the question. If I don't talk for several days, sometimes even months (literal Months), it has nothing to do with you. I don't get mad/angry with people very often, and if there is really something wrong, I will talk to you about it (civilly as well, like a mature adult would).

So, like with anything else, use me responsibly (that didn't come out right...) Because, as you probably know, you're not the only one who wants to talk/hang out/etc with me. There will be times when I say things like "Sorry, I'm just too tired to talk/play/stroke you off." And these are not because I'm lazy or that I do not want to see you, it's because of this damn condition that is slowly getting worse.

Thank you for understanding. If you really want that "Origin Story" about this, feel free to ask.
Your bear,
~Bartan

Prayer © Disturbed

Prayer

Bartan

Journal Information

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Comments

  • Link

    Could I give you a song to cheer up or something? Because from what I'm hearing from you, it sounds dark. I hope it doesn't get to the point where you are suicidal.

    • Link

      Don't worry about me, mate. I've just had to explain this to so many people that I decided to make a journal entry to direct them to instead. Though the condition is getting worse, I'll live. I'll still take that song though <3

      • Link

        It was going to be a Christmas song I had in my extremely large Christmas Music Collection. Either a song from Mree or Glen Campbell (as those sound very relaxing to here).