You know, after being around on the Internet for so long, I get to learn some additional stuff I've never bargained before. Recently, I started becoming interested again with reading about Chris Chan and Sonichu -- don't ask why. >_>;; But in doing so, I also found out some more information regarding a person I used to be a big fan of, especially her own webcomic series. Somehow, people managed to compare Chris Chan to this person. The following was mostly a copy-and-paste of a string of tweets I posted on Twitter, with some edits to take advantage of the fact that I'm not limited to 240 characters length here on this journal. I felt that they don't get much attention on Twitter -- I don't expect as such, since people use Twitter mostly to shitpost, anyway.

How do you feel when you were once a big fan for someone's webcomic, but then found out all these bad controversies she had been embroiled with? I'm not gonna reveal who this person is, but this is the same person who also made another comic, a short comic which, here, I'm gonna call "Heart no Negai". (Flip the English and Japanese, ie. translate the English to Japanese, and Japanese to English, if you want to know which comic I'm referring to.)

Well, I was young and pretty much naïve on that time. An "otaku", dare I say. I wasn't aware that she was a lolcow on the Internet, with people mocking her webcomic and such, even has an Encyclopedia Dramatica page to go along with it as well. (Heck, I didn't even know what "lolcow" meant back then.) I was shocked after learning about what the heck is this "Heart no Negai" and the history that drove her to create that comic.

I genuinely liked her webcomic. If you have known me for a long time, you'll know which webcomic I'm referring to. It was unlike any webcomic I've ever seen back then. It was the one thing that made me smile during my old school days. That comic allowed me to cope with my school stress and being regularly bullied there. Well, I knew that not everyone liked that webcomic. Looking back at it again, it was indeed quite bizarre; one of the most bizarre webcomics ever out there. It blatantly uses lots of anime tropes. The storyline is quite confusing; it required a degree of understanding of the way that world works to understand, with its own bizarre physics unlike anything in our own universe.

I used to participate in that webcomic's forum, back in 2001. That forum was literally my entire Internet for two years, until I started joining DeviantART sometime in mid-2003. I still have memories, both sweet and sour, participating that forum. I did make a few friends there, though whether or not I can contact them again now remains to be seen. I'm sure that some of you may remember me -- and still refer to me -- as my older name, Zanoma. After the 9/11 attacks, I felt welcomed by that forum due to their openness and tolerance towards who I am. In fact, the reason why I was known as Zanoma back then was because I was still living in fear of people discovering that I'm a Muslim, and so I had to remain anonymous then.

I'm surprised by what a long way I've come to reach this point now. All these new later facts I found out later in my life... I admit, it was both surprising and not surprising at the same time. We all have our own little skeletons in our closets. It also shows how much I've grown since then... I'm not even the same person then than what I am now. I've made my own identity for myself, gained my own fans in the process, however small that may be... I'm still grateful with those who still stick around with me thus far, even today.