I really need to work on actually trying to produce things. Honestly all of us need to figure out and get more out if just to do it.

I admit, part of why I personally want to find a free adopt to take home is to use it to as a design we can all experiment with safely and feel sure we can mess it up without feeling bad. We can't draw fan work of real media out of anxiety. We don't have finalised designs of ourselves yet to mess with. A free adopt means something for us to evolve with and have evolve with us.

But at the same time I feel bad because I want to shove money I don't have at people hah.

Growing, just sounds nice you know? Growing into something. Becoming something. Finding you and what you can do and what your niche is and everything. It sounds good. It sounds safe and nice and wonderful.

This really is just a ramble of things journal. Beware beware you're in for a ton of random words that probably just keep jumping around and don't lead to anything! Oooh scary! hah

I really am scared we won't be able to do what we're told. Accept all of us, grow together and let all of us out and everything and then our health will continue to get worse instead of at least mentally improving. I know the body never will. But I'm told our mental stuff is actually making the body worse than it would be otherwise. Hence our efforts. And yet here we are kinda sucking at doing that.

I keep taking for-front like a jerk. I keep being the main typist. I keep just doing my own thing and they barely have time to exist still.
I guess in a way it means our worsening health is my fault.
Dang.
Well that's pressure.

I'll stop rambling this is probably really weird. Oh well. I think Blue is going to be doing some photography today so that's an improvement? I hope. That is if he does actually do it I guess. Hard to get good photos trapped in a room though but maybe we'll be able to at least open the door outside and he can take something decent from our door?
I don't know.