I can't live up to my own expectations. Every time I promise to finish something, I take over 10 days to finish it. Every time I try to put effort into making something, my hands can't conjure up something good. Every time I get my hopes up too much, I let myself down and I feel guilty about it.
In my personal life, I'm always very anxious anxious over trivial things. It affects my mood in such a negative way, and sometimes it causes me to get mad for no reason. It's damaging me, and it shouldn't, but it is.
When I'm stressing over too many things, I feel like if I tell my family they will just pass it off as something nothing and will never want to take me seriously. Although surprisingly when I do talk to them about it, it actually improves my mood. My parents, my mother in particular, is very understanding when it comes to these subjects. But during that period of time when when I'm so stressed out, I don't think rationally. And that can sometimes cause me to do things that I regret.
I know this journal is nothing but angst. If you want me to take it down, fine. But I just felt like I wanted to say something. I wish I just had someone who I could talk to without having a near anxiety attack over nothing.
23 April 2018 at 01:17:04 MDT