I firstly want to say that if the title of this journal offends some of you, please feel free to ignore it, because for some people, they don't have much say in their lives when it comes to desperation.

A little history. I've experienced several points in time where enjoying life and staying out of trouble was a matter of desperately clinging to a handful of things in order to stay sane. This is a notation of two things: One, is that "these days", I'm not very prone to doing that on that it can begin to make me feel deeply disturbed. The second one, is that I feel that such a thing can be necessary.

Clinging to one's "creature comforts", and gaining a feeling of solace amongst ones family, friends, or possessions. I think it's important for all people to have something they're passionate about concerning what brings them the most comfort in the best, most positive and theraputic sense, yet there are times when the reasons for ones contentment rest on things that aren't so very positive, at least, to onlookers, or to someone well versed in medical practice. What I'm suggesting, is that a "bleedout point" is necessary for all people concerning whatever may help someone to "bleed out" their feelings: a moment of crying, a moment of shouting, a time alone.

There are cases with select individuals where they are opposed to being bombarded with things, or even people, that beg their attention, in the sense that having too great a burden to tend to would be a source of much stress. As can be seen, I'm clearly not a medical expert on stress, but I think that slowly, I'm becoming the sort of person who can't multitask very well.

I have many memories, and I'm reaching a point where it's a healthier alternative for me to relegate myself to a select few things. Personally, this isn't a very simple thing to accomplish. There's always the internet, and being able to peruse a great many things all in the course of a single day. Studies have concluded that many people spend a great deal of time at their computers and other internet-capable devices, and my case is similar. It's when I'm doing it out of desperation that I take a step back. A growing part of me fears returning to mental states of the past where desperation bore solace, while another part of me longs for the passion in that desperation.

It's safe to say that I'm most likely reading too deeply into a small thing of the mind, but I felt it necessary to ruminate over that it brings me discomfort. It's become much harder under these convenient living arrangements to feel more at home with a small range of things when there is so much to see and so many places to explore, if only in front of a computer screen.