Well, my brother Sean was supposed to take me to Taco Bell for fast food, because my mom refused to make me dinner because she needs to feed my stepdad's sons, who eat mainly meat, and things with sauce and onions, which I do not, because my diet doesn't include meat in even a daily amount, let alone onions cannot be digested by me do to health problems.
Taco Bell is limited in what in can offer me, but I was very hungry, but my brother said he wanted me to pay. When to the car, I mentioned that I wish we could go to target, but he said that I had only $40 on me and that he couldn't take us to both. I then stated that I have much more than that, and he said that it was impossible, because I told him I only had $40.
I never remembered such a thing, and I asked him when, and he said when he took me to WalMart. Sadly, I never told him how much money I had on me then, but I did tell him how much that my stuff cost. I brought this up when we were in the car, and he said he has perfect memory, and he knows what I said, he remembers every detail of everything... I then said if he has perfect memory, than how did he not know how much I had?, and he said I lied to him or I found more money. I did neither, and had to call him on that, but shortly after saying, "But, I-" He said ,"Shut-up." And then I said "But your-" And he said, "Silence!" Then I said, "This is a part of the problem why you don't know me or listen to me! You don't pay attention and you want to silence me whenever I want to say something!"
We were a ways on the trip, but he said, "I'll turn around if you don't shut the fuck up! It's my car and I know what I'm doing!" If anything, I thought I could mention I don't have a car... I have never been driven to get my driver's license. "That's your fucking fault, you never study for your driving test and never want to get a car or job!" I then brought up that's bullshit, that I've been studying for weeks thanks to him asking me too and the only reason I can't drive is because I'm trapped at home! He was unaffected, and apparently he was driving us home. "If you've known anything you would know I've study many times over the years and yet you nor anyone has ever taken me to take the exam." He tried call me a liar, but I brought up how could he call me a liar when he hasn't even lived at home or ever even gotten to know me. He then said because he knows everything about me. Bullshit.
I then wanted to try and reason with him as we were getting ever closer to our street that I didn't like being home, unable to drive anywhere and to do anything I wanted, that I always wanted to be able to go to places myself and do my own things. He then said, "Well too bad, that's not how it works." I called his bullshit, and asked if he thinks I like being trapped at home, that I like him keeping me trapped there. He says he hasn't done anything like that. I then stated that our family, which he is a part of, does keep me trapped there. And he said they do nothing of the sort. I said does he think I'm keeping myself trapped? He said, of course not.
Ugh.. my head, I am too exhausted to keep this journal up. I'll just say, when we arrived at home, Sean opened his car door and I opened mine. I got out, then he closed his door, sped out the driveway, off, somewhere. I went inside, and the phone rang. It was Sean. I hung it up. Then Sean called again, my mom picked it up. Mom then began yelling at me. I tried to explain things to her, but it got me yelling my side of the story. My mom slammed a door shut, and I knew my mom was gonna enter her bizarre state where if you talk to her she repeatedly screams... which is what she doors when she is too extremely stressed out and you press her on issues.
If anything, my stepdad is angry, saying I should go easy on my mother.
Sean just walked in. He mentioned he is sorry we misunderstood each-other. He now left the room and calling his friend. He's telling him that he got in a fight with his brother because his brother refused to accept how wrong, forgetful, and mistaken I am. I feel like it would be a good night to die.
1 November 2017 at 19:01:42 MDT