Someone I had been friends with for a long time told me the reason she blocked me on FB was because we were fundamentally incompatible and that since she moved to my area of the country, she did not want to pursue any sort of friendship with me.

I was initially very upset. Things in my life have been not been going as well as I would have liked, and I've had to leave my job at the lab for reasons I can't discuss on here. I am starting my own consulting company however, and am currently working on getting clients. Starting my own business is a huge leap for me, and I'm having to learn about about business interactions, taxes, contracts, NDA, TOS and other sorts of legal rigamarole I didn't think I would ever have to deal with if I stayed the whole scientist route. I had hoped moving to Oregon, I would be able to work for a company that I could do scientific research and help educate our customers. I feel passionate about the industry I am in, and I know that I am capable of doing the kind of work I have dreamed about doing since I was an undergrad, if I can just find a company willing to give me the chance, treat me with respect, and value my input. As of now, that only company seems to be one I start myself, so I begin the whole process of starting my own LLC and finding clients.

The emotional work of having to deal with leaving one job, and starting my own business takes a tremendous toll on me, so when I found out this person I had looked forward to hanging out with, and hadn't seen in almost a decade in person, someone I have a long history with and who I have art from and made art for since we were both in our early twenties had suddenly decided we were "fundamentally incompatible" it hurt me a lot.

It opened up old wounds from other furry artist friends I've had to remove from my life because our relationship was toxic. Friendships that I mourned losing more than even relationships; events that I still struggle with today. For someone to just cast me aside without much explanation, without even really meeting up with me in person before making that decision was extremely triggering and upsetting.

But I remember what someone once told me or maybe I read it somewhere "Let go that which does not serve you" . So it must no longer serve her to have me as a friend, or customer, or fan. It does not serve her, and for whatever reason she has decided that is, I can't really do anything but be who I am and let her be who she is. And just as my offer of friendship no longer serves her, I do not need to serve her and remove my support. This was hard to do, as she has been in my life for over a decade and we have a lot of connections across a lot of website and mutual friends. And I won't say it didn't hurt to remove her from them, but I must let it all go because it does not serve me to be angry at someone who I use to know.

The only thing I can really do at this point is keep striving to be my authentic self and find my way in this world. I am looking into returning to school to finish my PhD. I still am in a relationship with two really great guys who love me and support me. I have my practice in witchcraft and nature based faith. And I still have a lot of friends that do value, support and love me. I can't make people like me, but I can be true to myself, kind to others, have integrity with my word and do the best I can do with the circumstances I have.

I took a lot of the social media I had on my phone off so I can go through a detox period where I try to remember how to focus on tasks and not crave the adulation and electronic attention from people constantly. I think it will be healthy for me to re teach myself focus, especially in this next very formative period of my life.

I plan to continue to work on art, and probably periodically share it on here if it is of furry nature. But otherwise I'll likely only be here to support :iconTriadFox: in his comic and work on building our incense company brand. I wish all of you out there reading this well. Blessed be.