On my smartphone typing this up so sorry if has more typos than usual. Been weird for me today and tonight as a lot of talk about role playing had been going on between a few folks I chat with on different groups. And been makingnme remember and also miss those days I'd escape to role playing for hours. Be it for story or developing characters, a pretend person went to for support and comfort or for sex... getting attached to them, etc. Kind of wanting to get back into it but it's been YEARS since had such a drive and also worried about time I can do that with to please the other(s) involved. Guess with my moods being a roller coaster past few weeks plus the mental issues battling is causing this to surface into my view.
All the partners I had back then to go to aren't around to do that with anynore, most back when I was in the SatAM Sonic role playing group and mucks. Talking with Nishi earlier it seems like I like to connect with the player a lot before I feel comfy to just play out whatever fantasies I got (clean or adult) which makes looking on places like F-List not the best place for me to go to.
Just felt like dumping this out onto 'paper for any who care to read or comment on.