I haven't been this stressed out in a very long time. For the past few weeks I've been really struggling with something and it's absolutely torn me apart. Today was the breaking point and I've come to an important conclusion that I need to share.

Commission prices have to go up, and my YouTube channel is dead until further notice.

My current schedule and way of life cannot continue. I've been on a dangerous downwards spiral for a while now, and it's only getting worse as I desperately try to continue doing the things I am passionate about. Right now my schedule looks something like this:

I am constantly drawing artwork for other people, doing commissions every chance I can, so that I can scrape together enough money to pay my bills. In the space between drawings, I have very limited free time. I only have room in my schedule to do 1 of 3 things. I can work on developing my video game, make videos for YouTube, or rest and take a much needed break. This schedule is incredibly bad and builds nothing but stress for me, and recently I discovered the reason why.

My prices are much too low. In order for me to survive, I have to be drawing CONSTANTLY. I have to work every chance I get or else I can't make enough money to pay my bills. I can't draw for fun anymore, which means It's much harder to experiment and improve my artwork. Due to this, I have barely any time to myself, and the small amount of time I do have is filled with the other things I have to do. There is no way I can currently juggle 2 massive time sinks in addition to artwork and mental health. Something has to go.

I've decided to drop my YouTube channel for now. I love making videos, I really do, it's one of my favorite things to do. However the time it takes to make a scripted, in depth review is much too great and way too stressful in addition to game development and artwork. It also doesn't help that I don't make any money at all from YouTube. I don't put adds on my videos for various reasons, I'd rather go through patreon so I can avoid a lot of YouTube's bullshit. However Patreon is much too risky right now for a small channel like mine, and it simply is too much of an investment to fail. As such, I've decided to stop producing videos until I reach a point in the future where I have more time and less stress.

My prices will be increasing for a few reasons, but the biggest one is time. It takes me a great amount of time to get a commission done, and that's if everything goes smoothly and my hand issues aren't flaring up. I have certain bills that need to be paid every month, and currently I am struggling to pay them. If my commissions are bringing in more money per art, then I can relax a bit as I don't have to rush and do as many commissions to pay off my bills. This will eventually mean I have more time for mental health, art practice, and game design. I know it may be inconvenient for my prices to rise yet again, but in order for me to continue being able to do art at all, they have to. I gotta pay my bills, that's the highest priority. Secondly it's just not good for my hands to be drawing this much this often. I have to be able to take breaks. Taking breaks right now can kill my wallet, and that simply isn't acceptable. For those that don't know, I have tendonitis and acute carpell tunnel in both of my hands. It's a struggle to do much of anything and being forced to draw constantly just so i can survive certainty doesn't help.

So yes, sometime soon my prices will be rising, and from this moment on my YouTube channel will be basically dead. (except for maybe a convention video or two) I am so sorry this has to happen, but I gotta do what I gotta do. As always I am making a journal about this to keep you all as informed as possible, I like to be very transparent with these things and let you know what's going on.

Thank you all so much for your support and for your understanding, I wouldn't be here without you guys.