why do I even bother with art anymore... half the time its just a little fucking headshot doodle of a warm up and then i'm all 'okay i drew something i'm done.' and then i go back to staring at what ever website catches my interest.

I miss the days where I knew at least once a week i'd be able to hang out with fellow like minded people and my art production was actually up. I didn't care about quality and shit like that because I thought my own art was decent for what it was.

right now i'm working on a commission that has been fighting me since OCTOBER. true a lot of the fight was because I had to reconstruct the entire damned thing due to a massive memory leak where i lost the majority of my art files along with music and important documents. and its a subject the commissioner KNOWS I am not able to draw well at all, yet I'm trying because fuck first commission since that screwed up reference I did two years ago, and can't fix it cause that file was also lost.

uugh whyyyy

i'm venting it helps me feel a little better.