Obviously not on all sites due to username changing restrictions, but I have changed back to the name I used to use. The fact of the matter is, I changed my name to Manasgael because I was afraid. I was afraid of pissing people off by being myself to the point where I tried to hide from my own self. I can't take the pressure of doing this anymore. No matter how crazy some folks may think I am, I am Inanna. My memories, and the evidence that surrounds those memories, confirm to me that I am exactly who I've claimed to be for over five years now, and if that pisses off some powerful entities, be they spiritual or physical, it's still true, and I refuse to be someone I'm not just because it's expected of me.

If my post reads like the ramblings of a lunatic, please understand: I've lived my whole life in fear of offending anyone, and with the police showing up at my door on a Sunday morning a few weeks ago roughly one week after I installed curtains on my window that have dragons on them and can be seen from the street (and consequently the church parking lot on the other side of that street), I've reached a point where I can't continue my efforts to be what other people want me to be anymore. I know I said it was probably a fluke, but the timing was too uncanny to be mere coincidence in my opinion. No one has ever called the cops on me for being too loud, then suddenly I get a set of dragon curtains and hang them on a window that faces a church parking lot (and in some sects of Christianity dragons are seen as symbols of Satan -- and I live in the Bible belt, so the chances are very high that the church across the street may be one of those sects) and instantly the cops show up at my door claiming I'm being too loud. No, I'm sorry, but I can't believe that that was mere coincidence. Call me crazy, call me paranoid, call me an idiot all you want, but I've experienced enough harassment in my life to know it when I experience it.

In any case, if people want to hurt me because I don't worship Jesus and if they want to hate me because I love dragons and claim to be a pagan deity, there's nothing I can do to stop them, and that scares the living shit out of me. But what scares me even more than being ridiculed and harassed for being different is dying inside because I continued to deny myself in the hopes that other people wouldn't hurt me any more than they already have. If it makes me into a laughing stock, or takes away what little I have in this world, then so fucking be it, but I will not just let society walk all over me by continuing to deny who I am.

I am Inanna, whether I like it or not, and whether you believe it or not.