(Dedicated to every would-be event presenter who ever submitted an application and received crickets in return. Not presumed to be exhaustive—feel free to add your own checkboxes to fill gaps.)

Don’tcha wish conventions had a quick and easy way to tell ya that the event you thought was the bee’s knees just ain’t gonna happen? Are ya tired of “don’t call us, we’ll call you” policies leavin’ ya twistin’ in the wind?

Well, have we got the solution for you!

With the handy-dandy Reject-O-Con™ Brand Form Letter, any convention in any fandom can almost effortlessly break the news and break your heart. Just a few clicks from any convention staff member will ensure that you get the message loud and clear so you can get on with your life.

Reject-O-Con™. It may not be painless, but at least it’s humane.

Dear <$APPLICANT>,

Thank you for your interest in presenting an event at <$CONVENTION>. Unfortunately, we are writing to inform you that we have rejected your application for the reason(s) selected below:

[ ] We misplaced or never received your application.
[ ] You submitted your application too early.
[ ] You submitted your application too late.
[ ] You used an incorrect form to submit your application.
[ ] You applied for more time than we can reasonably accommodate in our schedule.
[ ] Your application raised significant legal concerns.
[ ] Your application raised significant code-of-conduct concerns.
[ ] We determined that your event would not be sufficiently beneficial to the purposes of the convention.
[ ] You requested a room configuration, staging, or equipment that we cannot reasonably provide.
[ ] Your application failed to demonstrate the relevance of your event to the fandom.
[ ] Your application failed to adequately incorporate this year’s convention theme.
[ ] Our schedule is saturated with events similar to the one you proposed.
[ ] We determined that attendance at your event would be too low to justify its inclusion in our schedule.
[ ] Tl;dr.
[ ] Your application contained a word, phrase, or name that immediately disqualified it from consideration.
[ ] You or another proposed presenter failed our background check.
[ ] Other: _____