A lot of changes in a year by Soluslupus

I haven't been very active on art sites for a while now, and have gone through massive changes in my life, particularly within 2015 alone.

The biggest reveal is that I am transgender. I am male to female (mtf) trans.

The process of realizing I was trans has been a shattering one, but in a good way; I feel like all the pieces of myself I've expressed through characters make more sense, and I feel far less repressed in expressing myself as feminine in general. I've even been repressing the traits that I associate with "women" mentally, because gender roles really are pushed upon us from an early age, but I digress.

I also moved to Seattle, and ended up in a relationship with the most wonderful person I'll ever know. She is my companion, my "other half" as it were, even if I were to accept others into my life -- which I am not opposed to, as I am polyamorous.

I am in a much happier position in my life, and I am growing more and more inspired to create art, express myself, interact with others, in ways I never did before. I feel like I've overcome a lifetime's supply of writer's block in becoming this new self, though I lack the skills and routine to do much with it yet -- but I'm working on it.

Solus/Sola is still a character that I love, and I love their appearance and confidence, but in the end, I identify more and more with characters like Elodia Alor, and a new "self" in the mix -- Vedia Lupae, which I am considering making my actual name legally.

There is a lot to explore with these concepts of myself, and I think they're important to explore to understand the fullness of me. If I make this sound all meditative and mystical, I don't mean to; but I have been tremendously unhappy for so long, that I essentially had to gaze inward to try to understand myself, and now I feel like I'm getting to that point. Talking about it helps, and gives me a way to explain it in a linear fashion, which is kind of hard to do when you're in the midst of mental chaos.

Overall, I am much happier and much more motivated with many more personal goals now, and that is all good.

A lot of changes in a year


17 February 2016 at 22:58:07 MST

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    I'm really glad to hear that. It's good to see someone return, better off for the hiatus. ^_^

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    Sorry for late reply.

    Happy to hear of all the positive changes in your life. Keep going strong. <3