Hi. My name's Alaese. I'm a ranger who works with those iakan aerosynth space fighters. After doing this for about 8 years I still got no fucking clue about what their deal is.

Like, let's not even talk about the iakans juuuuust yet. Just the plain idea of aerosynths-- I mean, shit, clearly, the person wasn't in the same hemisphere as sensical, can you imagine explaining this to a total alien? Oh, so, I've got a fuckin' idea: They're planes and they're bendy and shit. But no, not with ailerons and flaps, I meant ACTUALLY wiggly and bendy and shit, so they can turn their fuckin' heads and give you the stink eye if they had any. And I'm gonna give them like, arms, but not like lever arms or robotic arms for loading cargo or other useful things, I mean actual arms-arms with elbows and fuckin' hands with claws so they can wrench your goddamn gun out of your hand and snap it like a fuckin' toothpick, man. Then they'll have mouths that put the fucking "hyper" in "hyperdontia" and you bet your sorry pilot ass they'll be able to screech like a billion cockatoos getting caught in a food blender.

Then we're gonna make a special KIND of aerosynth called the iakan who have guns on their arms instead of not having arms 'cause otherwise this shit ain't bull enough. Then we'll give them top quality casimir drives to give you fuckin' hope that the guys can be controlled, but then not give it a vertical stabiliser to fuck with aerodynamics. Not that THAT matters anyway because I don't actually do any piloting unless the ike is knocked stone cold, in which case may whatever higher power hand out mercy by the shipload while you control a normally animate being that thinks two-and-a-half thousand kilometres per hour is a reasonable cruising speed.

Anyway, I work with this ike named Kathid, who likes to act so much tougher than they actually are. Though the orange and grey stripes look brilliant on them and their flying is almost balletic, I won't say that to their face, 'cause while they're probably not the easiest thing to fluster in the galaxy, Kath had better hope they don't die.

You lay a finger on them though and I'll set you on fire and stomp on your ashes 'till nothing is left but distant bitter memories.