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The Pokémon Prometheus 2 Ch. 1 by foxgamer01 (critique requested)

The Pokémon Prometheus 2 Ch. 1

Ch. 1 Pokémon Square

Two Pokémon walked down the dirt road, the ribs from a giant Arcanine protruding above them and around the town. The leading of the two Pokémon, with a grayish-brown fur and a sizeable hair-like mane of red that ended with black tips, swung his right arm out to various buildings, all either single or double floors and having some signs of damage to them. The one behind him, a golden-white Pokémon with nine tails, each one having orange tail tips, nodded with a kind smile, understanding of the state of Arkanilacum.

Various Pokémon of many types, though mainly Fire-Types, walked up and down the road while carrying lumber and stone. Though the macro battle that occurred in and near the town was weeks ago, reconstruction of the town was still ongoing. Though most Pokémon here did not bat an eye on the Zoroark, they all stared at the Ninetales behind him, from the explorer’s badge hanging on his green bandana to the lime green A on his back.

“This town of Arkanilacum was founded by our goddess Arcanine, the Great Protector,” the Zoroark said, swinging both of his arms up at the ribs. “She founded it long ago and died protecting it from opposing giant Pokémon.”

“How long ago was it, David?” the Ninetales asked as his tails swayed.

“Huh?” David spun around and stopped walking. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, how long ago did she live?”

David tilted his head a bit. “From what we know about our town’s history, she lived over 1200 years ago.”

“Hmm.” The Ninetales rubbed his chin. “That fits with many other towns’ timelines of their events. Especially with macro Pokémon.”

David squinted his yellow eyes at him. “I would’ve thought that an Explorer like you would’ve known the timespan that giant Pokémon roamed the world, A-Ninetales.”

“I do apologize,” A-Ninetales said as he bowed a bit. “I heard a lot of stories that are often inconsistent when they started appearing and when they last died off. The most consistent part about it is that it happened when the anthros came to this world, but even then, they aren’t sure when they came in and last appeared in those tales. Some even suggest that the last time that anthros appeared was 500 years ago.”

“A town spread that rumor around 500 years ago. I think the date was unchanged back then as well. These days, it’s nothing more than a joke that Pokémon sometimes crack out these days.” David rubbed his chin, his red claws pressing against the red rimming around his mouth.

“So that’s why that Sunflora laughed when she told me that number,” A-Ninetales mumbled to himself. He turned upwards, the ribs polished whitish-grey above. “I guess I can scrap that part out from my notes.” He sat down. “Truth be told, I’m trying to piece out what history the Pokémon here and many other towns have recorded about the anthros and giants, and I am forming a rough timeline from when they appeared to when they left or died.”

David squinted some more. “Is there a reason why you are doing this?”

“It’s just something that I do as a hobby.” A-Ninetales turned back to David. “Sorry if I have offended you or anything. I was curious to learn about this interesting part of history and finding little differences between each town.”

“If you say so.” David shrugged as he turned back around. “In any case, the mayor’s place isn’t that far from here. It’s the only triple floor place in town, but I’ll take you the rest of the way.”

“Thank you very much.”

#

Fifty feet away from David and A-Ninetales, Adrian the Flareon walked out from between the buildings and followed them. He paused for a bit when A-Ninetales turned around, but when he proceeded without concern, he continued following them. He couldn’t help but note that it was the sixth time that happened since he began tracking after them, but he shoved that thought away. After all, A-Ninetales hinted that Faith was that giant Vulpix that protected this town, and he needs to know how.

As he stared at A-Ninetales, his mind kept on flashing about his failures just minutes ago, when he let his envy about him leak out to Faith, who is a fangirl of him. He shook his head, trying to push that thought away, only for more memories of his failings and arguments flowed against his mind. Yet, the one that came to him the most was his argument with his dad.

“Damn it, boy. Your mother and I decided your future years ago when you hatched. You will evolve into a Vaporeon!”

“But I want to be a Flareon instead!”

“Your aunt is already the Flareon of the family. We don’t need another.”

“What is so wrong with two in the family? Especially since my eldest brother is a Jolteon just like you, and you never argued with him about it.”

“Don’t you dare make it about my boy! Why won’t you— Ah! It has to do with that Vulpix, isn’t it?”

“Act—”

“Just admit it! I saw how you stare at her.”

“Well, I guess.”

“Gahaha! You pathetic boy. Do you honestly think that she’ll notice someone as weak as you? Especially since she’s still living in her true love’s house.”

“That jerk left for a year now without a word since. I’m sure that—”

“You really are an idiot, aren’t you? I see her face when she’s with him. That loving desire will never die as long as the smallest hope remains. There’s no chance that she’ll even go out with you, even if you do everything for her, especially because of how pathetic you are. So, ‘boy,’ forget her and follow your parents’ demand. Otherwise, you will be out from the family, and you’ll die alone and loveless.”

Even after four years since he last spoke with his dad, disowned by the entire family, the words rang within his head. During the time, David helped him back on his paws in exchange for working for his family’s shop through planning out inventory and ingredients for the month. Since then, he kept his disownment private from Faith, not wanting her pity even as David teased about keeping it secret. They eventually agreed that David could tell her, but only if he wanted to.

And now the thoughts he thought he killed during his adventures with Faith, about whether he made the right choice of evolving into a Flareon or becoming a Vaporeon as initially planned, came rushing in. Perhaps nothing would change. Or maybe Faith would prefer it better.

Adrian sighed as he cursed to himself, standing near the sides of the buildings even as the two entered the mayor building.

#

David exited the building with A-Ninetales behind him, his feet-paws brushing against the wooden floor before walking upon the cobblestone in front of it. He rubbed one of the four wood pillars, carved in a spiral and scorched, as he turned back to his guest. A-Ninetales held a smirk on his face even as David leaned against the pillar.

“I must say, that was an interesting meeting with Mayor Richard,” A-Ninetales said as he sat in front of David.

“You think so?” David crossed his arms, yet he couldn’t help but smirk himself.

“Yes. The level of awkwardness coming from the mayor was overwhelming.” A-Ninetales’s ears twitched. “He seemed rattled when I asked about his reasons for resigning before the end of term and about the rumors of corruptions.”

“I’m sure he was,” David said with a laugh.

“I also couldn’t help that, when you two were forced to look at each other, you glared at each other,” A-Ninetales’s sea-blue eyes closed.

David’s smirk faded. “We never got along with each other, especially when I inherited my old man’s shop.”

A-Ninetales nodded. “Given how much he looked as if he wished to burn you to ash, that seemed to be an understatement. Particularly since he looked as though you took a massive treasure from him.”

David’s eyes flinched. “If I did, I would consider it even.”

“How so?” A-Ninetales asked as he tilted his head.

David gave out a hard stare at A-Ninetales before he sighed. “My shop, which stood for generations, has sold some of the best Wonder Orbs in the continent. We get travelers coming to us for our products and, while we weren’t rich, it was comfortable living.

“But since Mayor Richard got into office fifteen years ago, business went downhill. He started a system where businesses had to submit products for testing. It wasn’t bad at first, but then they became increasingly arbitrary as to what could be sold or what needed to be tossed out. Heck, I have known of one business that sold locally grown berries that moved away because they have to prove in several different tests that the berries are, in fact, berries.”

“Sorry for interrupting,” A-Ninetales said as he rubbed the back of his head, “but how can there be several tests for that? I can see one, maybe two tests where you can prove a fake berry, but not several.”

“Your guess is as good as mind. Also, if it failed in any of those tests, we get fined.” David shook his head. “And while it’s promoted that it’s in the name of ‘safety,’ that kind of standard wasn’t as enforced on traveling or out-of-towns ones. I mean, I have seen Revisor Seeds, Oren Berries, and even some faulty Wonder Orbs openly sold there. That Vulpix you met, Faith, was a victim of a fake product that nearly killed her, and yet the only fine I saw that shop hit with was paying the medical bills.”

“Hmm.” A-Ninetales shook his head. “And your business suffered for it?”

“All of our local businesses suffered for it!” David rubbed his face a bit. “Most of them either closed doors or left to another town. My old dad and I stayed because we were stubborn, even as Poké fines for failure increased. And as a result, travelers to Arkanilacum crashed through the ground because of this and several other systems implemented. To be honest, this is the most we have ever seen in a long time, especially an Explorer like you.”

“Huh. That’s illuminating,” A-Ninetales said as he leaned to the side. “Are you happy that Mayor Richard is leaving office?”

“Eh, happy to a point.” David uncrossed his arms and stretched them. “I’ll only be pleased if successor either downplay the system or tossed them out altogether.”

“I see,” A-Ninetales said, his tone absentminded.

David tilted his head. “Anything wrong?”

“I feel like we’re being followed and watched for a while,” A-Ninetales said as he straightened out.

David squinted his eyes at A-Ninetales before he curled up a grin. “Give me a moment.”

David faded from sight as A-Ninetales flicked an ear, and he raised his paw to look at it. A few seconds passed, and he flexed it, with claws protruding out for a moment before he heard a loud yelp. A stream of protesting sounds came out from behind even as he grinned and lowered his paw. He turned around, and there stood David along with Adrian under his arm.

A-Ninetales patted a blushing Adrian on the head. “Hello again.”

“Gah. How did you know?” Adrian asked as he wiggled against David’s grasp. “I took great care on avoiding your sights.”

“Not as well as you liked.” A-Ninetales walked to the side and poked his massive, fluffy tail. “I found it to be suspicious to see a Flareon tail poking out every time I turned around. It’s why it’s a good idea to have two Pokémon at least to stalk another.”

“I wasn’t stalking you,” Adrian said, a bit of a growl in his voice.

“It’s a life of a popular Explorer, isn’t it? Being stalked by your fans got to be quite a trial in and of itself,” David said with a faux awed tone even as Adrian gave a glare that would melt a Never-Melt Ice.

“In any case,” A-Ninetales said as he turned around, “I think I’ll find a room to sleep in for a couple of nights. Don’t worry about leading me to an inn,” he stated just as David’s opened his mouth to speak. “I saw one along the way, and I can get there by myself. Thank you for your time. It has been an enlightening time with you, David. As for you, Adrian, take care.”

A-Ninetales walked away, his nine tails swaying behind with every step. The two looked at the departing Ninetales with an almost hypnotic gaze, with David waving at him until he left their sights. Then, without skipping a beat, David lifted Adrian up to his head level and squinted.

“OK. Why were you following us anyways?” David asked, his tone almost too even. “I doubt that it’s because you’re a fan of him, given how you reacted when he came. If anything, it’s Faith who should be in the stalking business, not you.”

Adrian sighed, and his ears flattened back. “He knows something—”

“Don’t give me anything vague like that and just give it to me straight!” David’s grip tightened around Adrian’s torso.

Adrian winced and wiggled before asking, “Didn’t you notice that he knew Faith and my names when we met?”

David blinked. “What?” His eyes rolled back for several seconds. “Now that you mentioned it, he did say your names before you two gave them out.”

“And he referred to the giant Vulpix that defended this town as a ‘her’ when any news that came out didn’t give out a specific gender. How? Plus, he did say that Faith reminds him of that giant Vulpix.”

The two stared at each other for a few seconds before David put Adrian. “How did I miss— Never mind. So you think he knows about Faith and her ‘little’ secret?”

“I do,” Adrian answered, and his tail fluffed up.

David rubbed his chin for a few seconds. “Hmm. Who is he, and what does he want?” He turned to where A-Ninetales went and stared for a few seconds, thinking about the earlier conversation he had. And now that he thought about it, A-Ninetales only popped up in the news after that adventure with Groudon. “I should ask my wife about looking into news archives and see what info we can find on him. In any case,” he turned back to Adrian, “does Faith knows about this?”

“No,” Adrian answered, his tone shifting down to sadness enough that David’s left ear folded back. “I don’t think she noticed it herself. And, well, I doubt I’ll get the chance to explain now that she’s angry at me—”

“Huh?” David kneeled down to Adrian. “What happened?”

“I just couldn’t hold back my jealousy from hearing how much she gushes about him any longer.” Adrian shook his head even as his ears fell forward. “I screwed up by insulting him, and she left in a huff.”

David nodded and patted Adrian’s head. “Oh, jeez.”

“I-I was this close to asking if we could live together and be a couple.” Adrian rubbed his face for a few seconds while biting his lip. “After everything we went through in the last few months, I was sure she’d say yes. Unfortunately, I should’ve known better from that Dragonite trip, where she knocked me out cold for teasing about how dumb A-Ninetales’s name was.”

David rubbed the back of his ears for a few seconds before nodding. “I’m sure that she’ll forgive you. Now wipe away those tears, and let me offer you some hard advice.”

“Huh?” Adrian said, wiping his face and blinking at the tears on his paws.

“Now then, I will say that she isn’t faultless in this here, especially since she’s putting an idol in front of a friend or something more. But that’s not the hard truth.” David stood up tall, his arms stretched upwards. “The hard truth is that you’re kind of pathetic.”

“What?”

“I know what you might be thinking.” David lowered his arms and counted out with his claws. “It’s ‘didn’t I help get her to the other side of the continent for a slim chance of finding Jirachi and getting a few wishes from him just to save her life? Especially since it cost me so much time and even some money to do so. Didn’t I help protect this town from a rampaging macro by planning out five Hyperbeams and sending her to Faith’s path so that she doesn’t do any damage to the town herself? How can I still be pathetic?’

“The answer is simple, my dear friend. Even after all of that, you never acted as though you were her equal and vice versa. Rather, you acted as though she’s far too superior to you.” He poked at Adrian’s nose when he tried to open his mouth and, when Adrian flinched, he laughed. “See? Ladies don’t like anyone who grovels to them for their love. At worse, they’ll take advantage of that mentally and get you to do anything for them for a false hope that they’ll love you back. The truth is that ladies want guys who stand their ground, even if it means that they have a nasty argument. Not because of any desire for abuse, but because they want guys who have a massive backbone.”

Adrian stared at David for a few seconds. “Do they really?”

“Of course. Why do you think my wife loves me so much? Because I bend myself backward for her or for anyone who asks?” David winked before crossing his arms, serious. “It’s also why Faith held fire for her old boyfriend, even after he disappeared for so long. He’s calm and confident, regardless of how hopeless the situation got, and does his best to overcome them. Compared that to your sense of self-confidence, and your achievements mean nothing.”

Adrian’s expression darkened, his claws protruding against the ground. “You know how nasty he really is.”

“Maybe, but even so,” David rubbed Adrian’s head, “his drop of self-confidence outclasses every bit of your own.” Adrian’s green eyes shift to the ground. “You don’t have to take my advice. Just know that ladies are attracted to the confidence just as much if not more than to the looks.” He turned around and nodded. “In any case, I’ll ‘stalk’ A-Ninetales in your place. My Ability makes it far easier for me to do so in any case. So just relax at home, and I’ll send you any info that I can get.”

Adrian looked up at David and nodded. “Thanks.”

“Eh, it’s no problem.” David faded from sights, cloaked by Illusion and leaving Adrian alone.

Adrian stood there, alone with his thoughts even as he turned upwards to the sky and the bones that surrounded this town. He remembered Faith’s old lover, a Riolu who evolved into a Lucario a day after they moved in together, and his front left leg shook from fear and envy. He bit into his lip even as he wondered how this self-confidence blinded Faith to how cold-blooded, harsh, and rude Kyle was.

The Pokémon Prometheus 2 Ch. 1 (critique requested)

foxgamer01

Welp, it begins here. The first chapter of The Pokémon Prometheus 2. After more than two years of writing, I hope it's worth the wait.


Enjoy!


Pokémon Square

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