MegaBuizilla’s Macro March

The newspapers had been talking about it for days. It was all over the news networks, all that anyone seemed to be discussing anymore. “Giant Pokémon Goes On Growth Spree!” “More Victims Pile Up, Cleanup Crews Overwhelmed By Destroyed Houses!” “Gro-Labs CEO Claims Nothing They Can Do To Stop Giant Buizel’s Rampage!” Buzilla was celebrating Macro March in style this year, and everyone else was going to come along for the ride whether they wanted to or not.

Alkali had to admit, he was enjoying the stories thoroughly. It seemed to be mostly confined to close friends of the giant Buizel. Folks like Theo, Cole, and Sewk didn’t last long before filling up most of their respective houses. So far the kangaroo avoided Buizilla’s gaze and barrel of his growth ray. That suited him just fine for now; this way he could enjoy the view as ever more giants started to take up the skylines of cities around the country. It didn’t hurt that Buizilla seemed to be growing larger as the month went along.

The roo chuckled before putting away his newspaper. This was his day off. He couldn’t spend this precious time checking in on the escapades of his growth-crazy friend. There were video games to play, comics to read, naps to have. The video games would need to come first. He plopped down in front of the TV and turned on his WiiU. Link needed his help to save Hyrule and that took precedence.

thud

Alkali paused with his finger just above the Power button to the console. Had he imagined that shake through the ground?

thud

No. Not right now. Alkali shook his head and pushed the button, ignoring the quakes through the ground. He wouldn’t be distracted by bigs right now. No shenanigans to be had today. Hyrule awaited.

thud, thud, thud

Okay, so what if it sounded like it was getting closer? That was nothing to worry about. Alkali lifted the controller from his coffee table and started to play. He tried to convince himself that there wasn’t anything wrong and that his free day would still be safe. He wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

THUD

The last quake was enough to knock Alkali off the couch entirely. There was no ignoring that one. Something very bad was about to happen, he could just feel it. The roo looked around the room for any signs of danger. But there was no looming face in the windows or lurking growth ray around the corners. The walls appeared to be intact and no doors were thrown off their hinges. Was he just being paranoid? It could’ve been any macro passing through after all; no reason it had to be Buizilla.

Alkali took a deep breath and stood up to sit on the couch again. As he did he felt a twinge of energy shock him just above the ribs. He paused and looked around. It was hard to see at first but just outside the windows it looked like… a faint blue glow of light? That looked somewhat familiar but he couldn’t quite place from where.

Without warning the roo stretched up higher, bumping into the ceiling. He had to instinctively hunch over before he recognized the familiar sensation of growth. By that point it was too late to escape his home; Alkali could only hunch over more, taking a seat to prolong the inevitable. He sighed as he felt his legs push into the next room over, walls crumbling like cardboard. With the way macro insurance rates had spiked this month breaking his house was the last thing he wanted to do. His rates were going to be insufferable after this.

The roof yielded as the marsupial stood up. He didn’t make a show of it. He preferred to get the job done as quickly as possible this time. This wasn’t really what he wanted to deal with on the weekend after all. Alkali brushed the debris off his shoulders and head, carefully stepping over the top of his home’s remaining walls. He flinched as he stepped on a car in the street. Crud. Something else he’d have to deal with once he was back down to size. The kangaroo sighed again, looking around for the culprit. There really wasn’t any doubt in his mind that this was Buizilla’s fault. It was just a matter of finding that big, orange doofus.

“Buiiii, where are you? Come on out dude. Kinda not in the mood for this today,” Alkali yelled, trying to get his friend’s attention. The neighborhood was empty aside from several gawking children; Buizilla wasn’t here then. Alkali walked toward downtown, crunching the pavement under his feet with each casual step. If Buizilla was going to be anywhere, he’d be there. Easiest to reach the most number of potential growth victims that way. But no matter where he looked, the Pokémon was nowhere to be seen.

“Man when I find that dork I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind…” Alkali grumbled. He enjoyed being big just as much as the next guy but only on his own terms- huh. Was the sky always that orange? The roo squinted, trying to get a better look. It was kinda hard to tell but it definitely seemed the horizon was a different shade today, almost a sunset orange. And then it moved.

As the horizon shifted slightly, Alkali’s eyes widened.

“HEY ALKALI,” the wall of orange boomed. A devious smile, grinning and plotting, loomed far off in the horizon. This did not bode well for Alkali. “THIS WAY I CAN GROW ANYONE I WANT. HOLD STILL BUDDY. NOT THAT IT MATTERS, KINDA HARD TO MISS AT THIS SIZE.”

And then the barrel of a ray gun, miles wide and looming so far above it made Alkali’s head spin, aimed directly at the kangaroo. And the sky was filled with a bright, crackling blue energy.